Thursday, July 09, 2009

Dear Tom's wife

For all of you who think I make this stuff up, read her post:

I'm so glad that works for you. As for me, I wrote to you earlier this week that my dh had two low sugar twice while driving with me during the last 7 days. Well, last night he had a MAJOR low. I got home about 9:30 pm and didn't realize at first that he was low, he chatted (a little more than usual - I should have figured it out based on that :|) But then I looked at his eyes and realized he was low and asked him to check his blood. He did and told me it was 135. I believed him (why am I so stupid?) As it got to 11 pm he just kept getting worse, saying weirder and weirder things.

So I tried to get him to test again, but he said his glucose monitor was broken and he wouldn't let me get close to his pump which has a testing device on it. I couldn't find a spare device either.

Frankly, he is just too strong for me and I can't fight him. But I don't need to test him to know he is low -- his behavior and the way he looks is enough for me. something is terribly wrong.

So, I told him if everything was broken I would take him to the hospital, they have working devices. No, that wasn't ok with him. so, I said I would call 911. No, that's not ok. So I gave him OJ. He threw it on the floor. Was I trying to kill him? too much sugar is the problem -- he thinks he is high.

well, I have seen him high and I've seen him low, and let me tell you. He was low -- very low.

Finally we got what MAYBE was a fairly accurate test and this was about 20 minutes after maybe 4 oz of OJ. His glucose was 53.

Then he decided it was 11 pm and time for bed. So he turned off all the lights and went to bed. Ignoring me completely. Frankly, I don't know how he made it up the stairs, I thought he was going to fall back down.

But I stayed calm, he kept asking me what time it was, what day it was, and even what year it was. Geez. by this time, I'm exhausted, my work is really stressful right now, my father is dying of cancer, and my mom is really depressed. why does he do this what always seems like the worst times to me?

So he went to sleep and was up all night making sure he was alive. I know I'm not supposed to do that. That if he chooses to do this to himself I can't change this. but, its just so hard.

thanks for letting me "talk" to someone who really understands. when I told my sister a shortened version all she said was, this is really old isn't it. I didn't hear much sympathy in her voice. Nor, as you reference, much humor.

thank you for giving me the forum to share.

You poor dear! Yes, it does get really really really old....but that doesn't mean it is going to go away or get better or get easier. And yes, you are not supposed to stay awake all night long to see if he is alive or dead. But when you love someone, how can you not stay awake and worry? It's like second nature. It's what we do.

You didn't mention how he was today. I hope better. Why is it that so often when they go low, they think they are high? I wonder with neuropahy and their lack of the sensations they have get mixed up? That would seem to make sense.

I really want to move to a ranch house. Stairs scare me to death. One low and he could go tumbling down and break his neck. Other's may laugh and pass it off...but I really do understand what it's like as you watch their every step, wondering if it will be their last.

The sad thing is that one of these days, it will be their last. Brought on quicker than necessary because they refuse to take care of themselves. My blessing at the moment is that I don't work. So if I'm up all night long, I can usually get in an afternoon nap. I don't know how you mangage to go to work every day. I'll keep you in my prayers!



Jim Purdy (Glucose Experiment) said...

You said:
"Why is it that so often when they go low, they think they are high? I wonder with neuropahy and their lack of the sensations they have get mixed up?"

I'm only a Type 2 diabetic, but I've experienced many extreme lows and a few extreme highs. At either extreme, my thinking get so muddled that I don't know what's going on.

tomswife said...

thank you thank you thank you. you are now my haven. and yes, he was "just fine" today. when I asked him (he got up and went to work before I woke up) he wondered why I would ask. He goes through an episode like that and wakes up feeling terrific having had a wonderfully deep sleep. Its so unfair!

But now it is Friday, and I plan on sleeping as much this weekend as possible.

take care,
tom's wife