Saturday, October 31, 2009

Lisa wrote: You are right that you cannot help someone that will not help himself. I hate that I have allowed myself to become an enabler. My husband has shifted much of the responsibility for his health to me. I am the one refilling and reminding him about his meds. I am not sure at this point if he is exactly sure what and when he takes them. I get tired of nagging about diet and exercise, but if I don't he does what he wants. I understand that it is very difficult to live with a chronic illness, but it is not my fault. I worry that if something happened to me if he would even take his meds. I am angry at myself for letting this happen, but sometimes I guess its easier than fighting it. Lisa

Well, I think a few years back I was right wher eyou were. Fighting all the time. reminding him of what he needed to do. Sick with worry. Angry at him and at me. Then I really decided this was his disease and I shifted all of the responsiblity back to him. I alo realized at that time that he could die at any moment because I knew he was not going to take care of himself.

He hasn't. Today he had such bad infections in his knee and foot that he couldn't walk. He sat on the sofa the entire day. I left and ran some errands and did some shopping. Took myself out to lunch. Then came home and fixed dinner. You just have to learn that life goes on. It's a bit like living with an invalid. You have to create a life of your own, separate from them. No, it's not what I want in a marriage and I constantly ask myself why I am here. But Tom's wife will tell you that we stay for the good moments. Speaking of which, Tom's wife....are you still here?


Friday, October 30, 2009

Neil wrote:

I would really suggest, if you are religious, get him a minister, if not tell him to bay for a professional counseler. If he were my spouse, I would not be kind at all. I would give him an five days to completes certain goals or else.

Make me chuckle: Or else what? LOL!!!

Neil wrote;

Despite we must be cautious about statistics, studies of families, twins and Native Americans has revealed a link to genetics. However many factors can cause diabetes. Some farm chemicals, pancreatis, and even prescription drugs have been linked to diabetes. Also a strong correlation exists between the increased production of high fructose corn syrup and the increased prevalence of diabetes. You don't need a study. You only need to look at when high fructose corn syrup began production and track the increases of diabetic cases. High fructose corn syrup is so rich, that it demands huge increases of insulin. So it does not take a genius to reason that those with genetics that can not keep up with the increased concentrations of sugar will have the potential to become diabetic. I guarantee no doctor cares about the food supply chain issue. The more sick people, the greater the profits.

I understand what you are saying. However, his father and grandfather both had diabetes, so pretty certain his is hereditary. No high fructose corn syrup in the late 1800s. Well, not much as they traveled across the praire in covered wagons!

And again, Neil wrote

I know no one wants to hear this. I have been diabetic for 40 years. I check my blood sugar more often than most some times as often as every hour. I have no right to allow my diabetes to affect my children nor my wife. That would be immoral when I can actually do something about my disease. I also exercise up to three hours per day, and I think I should train for the Olympics in the 1500 meter just to prove diabetes does not need to affect anyone's life as long as they want to inject insulin. I also refused long acting insulin and simply use the short acting. It works better, it is closer to what the body makes and that is the rest of my story.

Neil – while this is great for you, my blog is about a non-compliant spouse – a guy who does not want to lift a finger, much less exercise! A guy who has tophi gout so bad in his feet that he can’t walk, let alone run. And yes, we all know he could make changes that would improve his condition….but I know I can’t make him do that.

And that’s what’s so sad about all of this. You just can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped