Thursday, December 01, 2011

Another DW added a comment

Ro ro wrote:
Thank you for this blog. I just stumbled on it. A lot of people don't realize all the complications that come with diabetes. They just think it's a high low sugar thing and ur is sooooo much more. As the wife if a diabetic myself I totally understand what you are going through. Thank you so much for sharing, now I know that I am not alone. It can get lonely sometimes cause the diabetes affects their memory so constantly arguing or repeating the same things. Erratic sleep patterns and bathroom patterns, don't take his meds like he should(it's a fight), and it always seems like they don't care about their health or yours. it takes a toll on you being a caretaker. So sorry for going on. Just wanted to say thank you. Crying tears of relief cause I thought I was alone.

Know that you are not alone!  Just scroll down the right side of my blog to find other spouses of diabetics who are blogging as well.  I agree, it's nice to know we're not alone.

I was researching last night to find out if there are any professionals who understand any of this.  They just focus so hard on the diabetic....but not on the caregivers.  Truly sad.

My hubby was much better yesterday.  But today, he is back horribly depressed.  Yelling at me.  Upset with the world.  His brother called and told him they were at his parents, cleaning out, having a garage sale, trying to talk the parents into moving somewhere else.  So nice that he let us know ahead of time - they've been there a week.  Put my poor hubby in tears.  He's back to that "no one loves me" depressed state that he goes through so often.

I do feel sorry for him.  My heart just breaks.  But I think his brother's heart might be in the right place.  He's younger and he knows what my hubby has been through in the past 2 years and I think he's just trying to take care of things and not involve hubby.  And I truly love him and appreciate what he's doing.

But hubby sees it as being left out, not consulted, that his brother is trying to "take over".  Even though I told him I thought his brother was doing him a huge favor, he doesn't see it that way at all and now thinks I'm against him.  I just can't win!

So Roro, yes, it is so lonely at times.  It's so impossibly hard.  Today I think I just cannot live one more day with his depression.  But yesterday, he was his happy self.  I know there are no answers.  I know this hubby taking care of himself.  Yesterday, I caught him sneaking a half a raspberry cobbler!!!  Now, he knows better than that!  And there are those who would say that if I truly love him, I will not even allow anything sweet in the house.  But I have to ask why should I give up food that I like?

And now I'm right back to the professionals.  They all seem to say that the spouse should change her diet for him, support him, love him.  I do love him, I do support him, but I am not going to change who I am just because he has diabetes. And that's the part no one seems to really "get".

I think tonight I'm just in a mood!  LOL!!!  Brought on by his depression, I'm sure.  How on earth does a person keep their chin up when the other half of them is about 30 feet under?


Tuesday, November 29, 2011


He did not eat last night - nauseated.

He did not sleep, went from hot flashes to chills to sweats.

Today he has a migraine headache, a stiff neck, entire body pain,  is having chills at the moment and said the back of his head and neck feel like they are going to explode.

"you could be having an aneurism, or scar tissue in your back could have dislodged.  do you want to call your doctor?"

No, I just want to sit here - his reply

I said, "do you want me to call your doctor or sent him and email?"

No, just let me sit here.

Impossible.  He expects me to just let him sit there.

OK, I am going to just sit here with him.

For an hour.  If it's still this bad in an hour, I'll start to push.

On the other hand, should I push him to call the doctor?

Just a completely impossible situation.