Thursday, October 18, 2012

Has it really been 11 days?

since I last blogged?  How can it possibly be 4 weeks since mom died?  5 weeks since his mom died?  I feel like I only blinked my eyes is just on fast forward.

We had our second grief class this week and I feel certain that my sisters and I are on tract.

Hubby is still 1000 miles away with his dad and I feel certain they still have not even started the grief process.  FIL wants to go shopping every day and I told hubby today that I think it's way of avoiding facing his grief and that rather than shopping, they drive by places FIL and MIL used to go together, sort of gently force the grieving to start.

But can you imagine.....both men are diabetic???  Feeding off each other????  I have simply decided to stay home and go through my grieving alone.  And I have to say, I am enjoying the caregiver break!  I am getting rested, started watercolor painting classes, taking the grief class, walking, eating much more healthy, and going to start a Bible study.  Finally.  Time out for me!

I do know that I will eventually go.  But hubby are doing ok with a "skype marriage".  We talk several times a day, probably more than we did when together.  We are talking a ton about what is said in my grief classes and I think he needs this.  He's just fine talking about my mom.....hopefully that will progress to him talking about his mom.

Still no idea where FIL is going to end up living.  Still no progress on sorting through MILs things.  I think I'm ok if hubby decides to stay with his dad most of the winter.  He's thinking of flying home for a few days in late November.  It really is amazing how much business you can accomplish with emails, online signatures,'s really a new world, isn't it?

In the midst of all of this, we have changed health insurance and gone from premium option to standard option.  It is the first time in my entire life that I have not had premium insurance and I think the co-pays will kill me.  But we can no longer afford the cost of premium insurance.  Retirement does that.  I told hubby he simply has to go less, and be more in control of his own body, not require doctors to review him every other month.  We now live in a tiny community and have to drive over 100 miles to see a specialist.  He can get labs done here, so we will stay on top of that for sure.  Of course, he has gone a year in the past without getting labs.

Things do seem to be settling into a routine of sorts.  I have no idea how long we can maintain this way, but for now, all is good.