Saturday, November 12, 2011

I'm so sleep deprived

Awake at 2 am this morning as he was up sick.

Awake at 3:30 am yesterday morning as he was up sick.

It's been a repeat every day this past week.

And he is refusing to go get labs done.  He won't call his doctor. He is sick to his stomach, diarrhea (and I'm so tired of cleaning toilets!) and nothing sounds good to eat.  Except potato chips.  :o)

Pretty certain the neuropathy has found it's way to his intestines.  But of course since he won't go to the doc, we don't know.

I really try to be supportive.  It's so hard.

I really try to show compassion.  But when he refuses to take care of himself and now he refuses to call the doctor, it's even harder.

And I know I'm just exhausted.  I try to catch little naps during the day when I can.  But it's not the same.    I sleep more on the sofa than I do in my bed.

And my own pain has returned.  I'm sure it's because I'm not getting enough sleep.  I am trying to stay as active as I can, but I hurt so bad.  Today I managed to prune the apple tree, cut numerous limbs off a peach tree and oak tree.  Cut back all the raspberries and cleaned out one flower bed.  But there is just so much more to do and I have to wonder how much longer I'll be able to do all this.

I find myself praying for a good night's sleep and no pain.  It's what I need more than anything.