Balance

Neil wrote:

I just wanted to reply to your message. When I reference the Us, I am meaning the diabetic has no right to be selfish about his life by refusing to do what is needed. Therefore, I consider any married diabetic male who will not take the steps to be healthy as unethical and irresponsible. Years ago, I decided I had a responsibility to my family, my friends and to this nation to keep fit. If I have to spend huge sums on medical care we all pay because my extra medical costs means higheer insurance rates for everyone. I have not been to a doctor in over a year, and as long as he keeps authorizing my insulin, I have no reason to give my doctor my wallet, cost my insurance company and drive up insurance premiums. My wife has a right to be married to a man who is physically fit, well conditioned from exercise, bright, energetic and goal directed. If I do not take care of myself, that is equal to having an affair, not an affair with another woman, but an affair with nothing but selfishness, and that type of selfishness is rooted a very irresponsible behavior.

Well said! I'll bet a lot of us wish our spouses thought like you!

My hubby goes to see his doctor at least twice a month and sometimes it is twice a week. Just depends on what is going on with him.

On the other hand, I haven't been in 2 years. So I figure we sort of balance out the system. LOL!

But I agree, way too many people (not just diabetics) abuse the medical system by not doing everything they can to keep themselves healthy.

I even send out emails to my friends and tell them if they have a runny nose - please stay home! I cannot take the flu shot due to a prevalance of Guillane Barre syndrome in my family. And I sure don't want to get the flu!

We are having a pretty good week around here. Way too much company with more arriving tomorrow night! I'm hoping next week to have a few days of downtime, and then I have 3 weeks of non-stop houseguests!!!

DW

Neil wrote:

In reality, the nerve damage can be mostly reversed through exercise and using short acting insulin like lispro. I know -- did. Many years ago I was in so much pain that I screamed myself to sleep and begged family members to just shoot me. I got better and brought three children into the world, which proves that sexuality can be returned with insulin. My blood sugar was once over 1000

and later he wrote:

The diabetic can restore his health as I did. If you want my story how I went from wheelchair bound and impotent to perfect health...

Good for you, but I'll guarantee it won't reverse itself in a man who has had diabetes for 33 years and is over age 55. He is way past exercise...and a few other things. I do believe he could stop the progression....but he's simply not willing to do anything towards that end. At best, he will take the pills his doctors prescribe. He eats everything and anything that he wants - including eating out at least once every day, sometimes all 3 meals. He will not exercise and most days he won't even walk to the mailbox.

DW, can you provide me a little advice? I notice that you insert other people's responses into your blog rather than straight posting their responses.

I haven't figured out how to do that without re-typing them. do you have a suggestion? I guess I'm not very PC-smart. tom's wife

I simply highlight, copy and paste. Don't retype a thing! :o)

Oh! the driving thing! One of these days I'll write about that. In the meantime...

5 or 10 years? will he even be alive? between the sugar lows and highs and the crazy driving habits, this is where one really does need to believe in a supreme power. because Tom really tests the limit of "luck" every day.

and contemplating divorce? hah! every day? sometimes hourly! but how do you leave someone who is going to die anyway? That was a little sarcasm, but you get my drift....

I have a few rules. If his mother moves in here - I will leave, no matter how bad he is. Has absolutely nothing to do with his diabetes.....just everything to do with my survival! LOL!!!

If he goes on dialysis and does not take care of himself (keep the incision clean, tubes, etc) or if he expects me to drive him to treatments, I will leave him. That's been my "deal" for years. If he is not going to take care of himself now....I won't be taking care of him then. One has to have "rules" in order to survive both mentally and physically. Will he be alive in 10 years? Probably - because they just keep pumping more drugs into him. :o)

I've been gone the past couple of days visiting family. Came home and it looked like he had not left the sofa. House was a complete mess.....and he wonders why I get upset??? He didn't even take the trash out. Sigh!

DW

A good comment:

I am so glad that you have addressed the driving problem. My diabetic husband is a crazy driver; so much that I am afraid to ride in the car with him. I pray that he doesn't kill us both someday by his recklessness when he gets behind the car.

It is true, that I can never tell if he is at a high or low. He will seem fine when we start off doing errands but as the day goes by his driving gets worse and worse. I have noticed that his driving is worse after he eats lunch. He will not let me drive most of the time and we end up in an argument and I end up staying at home.

At first I thought he was exhibiting passive aggressive behavior toward me by putting me in harms way when he was driving, but I have come to realize that it is the diabetes that makes him see things differently than actual reality.

My dh is in his mid 40's. I cannot imagine what our life will be like in 5 to 10 more years. I am contemplating divorce just to get away from the craziness.

well, you are not alone as I often wonder what my life will be like in 5 to 10 more years and I think I contemplate divorce every single day. But a couple of things I have witnessed with the driving. He used to do all the driving - but not any more. His feet hurt too bad. Or his kidneys/back hurt too bad. So perhaps in 5 years you will be doing all of the driving. :o)

I liked your comment about exhibiting passive agressive behavior.....I used to think my hubby just wanted me dead the way he drove. Then I went through a phase of screaming my head off when he did something crazy behind the wheel. Then I went through a period of refusing to get into the car with him. I think that's when he started thinking about it. He was so mad at first....but I told him I just wasn't going to ride with him when he drove like an agressive crazy man!

Once.....we were somewhere in the middle of a desert and he was doing 125mph. I screamed at him to pull over. I got out. I refused to ride with him. He took off. I just started walking. He came back. But I tell you - I was willing to walk as far as it took before someone picked me up rather than ride at that speed with him behind the wheel!!!

He hasn't driven that fast since.

And to Tom's Wife - HUGE congratulations for starting your own blog!!! You can see it HERE.