Saturday, May 14, 2011

Sleep, sweet, sweet sleep!

Being here with his team, I can let go and let them take care of him.  Today, I slept.  Almost all day long.  It was so sweet!  Much needed peaceful rest.  And they left me alone.  Even when they had questions for me, they didn't wake me up and it all went well.

It's been a fun week.  I've done lots of shopping and sightseeing and now it's pouring down rain.  No idea if we will make it to the beach or not.  Don't care as I've decided sleep and rest are more important!

He is eating anything and everything he wants.  But I decided that one week will no kill him.  Let him have a vacation from rules as well.  Yes, we'll pay terribly when we get home, but I think we both need a break from diabetes.  And while we can't really get a total break, we can bend the rules for 7 days.

He is truly enjoying this time with his staff.....and I'm enjoying the rest I'm getting.  As well as the companionship of other wives and all the long talks we are having.

A car crash in the neighborhood last night put a damper on the weekend party.  4 teenagers, drunk, crashed into a tree. One airlifted to a hospital and rumor is that she died, but no confirmation yet.  Another with a broken back.  Makes me appreciate the ease of diabetes, even though there is nothing easy about it.  Puts things in perspective.

In the meantime, I think I'll go take another nap!  LOL!!!


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Honesty and diabetes

First - thanks for all the comments on my last post.

Good question - why hasn't there been a study done?

Good answer - because diabetics and their families would not be honest.

It's about as simple as that.

I could never answer questions honestly.  Heck, I can't even identify myself in this blog - for fear that if he ever found out he would be pissed beyond belief.  He would deny that anything I write is true.  And he would hate me for speaking my mind here.  So how could I begin to answer a study truthfully???

And he couldn't possibly give an honest report:

When he's in a low....he doesn't remember anything he says or does.

He's in denial (well, he was until this last hospitalization) about what all is wrong.

He gets terribly confused.  Just tonight, he was telling friends that 5 years ago, he did not have diabetes.  I jsut about fell out of my chair.  I've been blogging about his diabetes for at least 6 years (but of course I couldn't blurt that out!!!)   I sat here and calmly siad, "now, sweetie, 5 years ago is when you started taking insulin shots, but you were taking pills when I met you and that was 12 years ago, and you told me that you have had diabetes since you were 22." He said, "oh yeah, that's right."

But imagine if it were a study and I wasn't there and he said he'd only had this disease 5 years instead of 30?  I just think that sometimes he has no clue what he says to other people!!!

Knowing all this, if someone did do a study, I would have to question it's accuracy and validity.  Because I would know that the diabetic couldn't possibly be reporting accurately....and that the spouse probably had a million reasons why she would have to alter the truth in order to stay with her husband.

Interesting quandry, isn't it?

But I really think that's the bottom line.  If our spouses are abusing us, we write it off to a sugar low or high, to some medical issue and thus, we deny that we are being abused.  So we'd never report it as abuse.....verbal or otherwise.  I mean, I can think of times when he has made me feel so little, so humiliated, so put-down.  He has robbed me of every ounce of self-esteem.  But then there are the moments when the old husband shines through and that's what we all live for.  So we deny everything else.

Truly sad.  But really truly how it happens.

And that's why there are no studies involving spouses.  It would take an impossibly great interviewer who saw past the manipulation, who could reach deep down inside and get the spouse to admist the abuse and get the husband to understand that he is the one who is abusing.  And if the person doing the study is that good......they are already making way too much money to do a study!  LOL!!!


Today was a travel day.  Wheelchairs are wonderful!   We breezed through security at the airport.  We will always use a wheelchair for him from now on.  I'm planning on a week of peaceful rest.  We are staying with friends who are going to take over and take care of him and I will get a break!  Starting tomorrow!  I can't wait!