Friday, August 11, 2006

I guess I got divorced....and didn't even know it!

You need to go back and read "part b, the aging parents" to understand a bit more about everything on my platter at the moment. I received an email from hubby's brother's wife last night that just blew me away. She thought hubby and I had been divorced since the first of the year!!!

Seems she and her hubby (my hubby's brother) went to visit the in-laws sometime in February and March. Mom-in-law said to her, "I hope our money problems don't cause you guys to get divorced like it did .......and....." and she put our names in the blanks.

So, my sister-in-law...who lives another thousand miles away....did not hear from me and assumed that I was no longer in the family. OK, partially my fault because I rarely email family members. Lesson learned. Send out monthly updates! LOL! But how horrid are my in-laws to let her think we have been divorced all this time? I promptly sent her a return email and told her that although we have our share of problems, we are not divorced. And if we did get divorced, it would have absolutely nothing to do with our mother-in-law.

What kind of evil woman tells anyone else that her son is divorced when she knows without a doubt that he is not divorced.

So I read the email to my hubby. His comment? "sis must have misunderstood mom". I re-read him the exact quote from his mom and said, "how can that be misinterpreted?" and he agreed, it probably could not be.

I'm just wondering how many other people she has told that we are divorced?

Sis has promised that if she ever hears anything like this again, she will contact me immediately. And I promised to email her more than once every 5 months!

Note to self....remember promises made to sis-in-law!!!

Was it lust or sorrow?

I was in the grocery store the other day, standing line, looking down....and my eyes gazed on the feet of the man in front of me. He was wearing sandals and I thought, "what sexy feet!" Which led my eyes up his body to his face. He was about my age and my eyes went immediately back down to his feet. And my next thought was, "oh shut up! You are married to a wonderful man!" And I didn't give the guy's feet a second thought until tonight.

I've been surfing the net tonight, trying to find a photo of what my husband's feet look like. I've seen some horrible photos. And my mind wandered back to the feet of the man in the grocery store. They were not "sexy". They were healthy. And in being healthy....they did appear sexy to me. They are the kind of feet I wish my husband had....but most likely will never have again. And my great sorrow.

What horrid feet he has.

He's hobbling today. Because his feet hurt. Oh, I wish I could sneak a photo of them. It would probably break my camera. Literally. I do not know how the man walks at all. It must nearly kill him. He has big gnarls on his feet. Look like quarter sized mounded pimples. They have heads on them. Probably at least 50 on each foot. Some have puss in them. Some don't look quite that bad. And then on 2 toes, he has blister looking like things that are a good 1/2" raised up from the skin. The skin is stretched so thin you can see right through it. Looks like it is going to ooze any moment.

Last night, I noticed tiny little matching pimple looking mounds on the top of the tips of his fingers. Anyone know what that is? I'm sure it's all related to his diabetes. Yep, he ate 4 chocolate donuts last night. He is not doing a thing to prevent this. If his feet ooze on my carpet......LOLOL! (OK...I have to laugh to keep from cringing at this point!)

I know what it is when his feet swell up and turn sort of purple looking...they do that often. But these gigantic pimple/boils have only happened a few times.

What is his sugar levels? Normal according to him. Sigh.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I HATE being his maid!

But I've had 10 days of relative peace, so I won't complain too much just yet! I have a theory. I scheduled our appt with a counselor....and he is trying to prove that we do not need counseling. He is literally being a saint. He's said several times that he wants the marriage to work. The counselor has rescheduled the appt and is now 2 weeks from tomorrow. I'm not sure he can maintain this for another 2 weeks. Why?

Well, one look at his feet and I KNOW he is not doing well. Huge boils. Oozing mounds on his toes. He ate 2 apple pies from McDonald's at lunch yesterday and a bag of potato chips along with some Chips Ahoy cookies. That and the quarter pounder and french fries at lunch and a TV dinner last night. Shall I comment any more?

I see little tell-tale signs. He starts to blow up and stops himself. That's good. But how much longer can he "stop"? In the past 2 days, he has received 3 boxes in the mail. He opens them up, and leaves the boxes on the kitchen counter. I asked him last night if he was going to break them down? He said, "I will get to it when I get to it". They are still sitting there. I know the "you are my maid" syndrome is just around the corner and about to kick in. As I look around the family/kitchen area, I see 6 empty water bottles, 3 glasses, 2 diet coke cans, and an opened box of cookies...all right where he left them. Is he too tired to put a can in the trash? A glass in the sink? Or is it just a mood? Or the beginning of another huge, massive swing in emotions? Oh...I've seen this pattern before. He shuts down. Lets everything just set where he left it....stuff piles up...and I can't see through the mess.

We have 2 little chihuahuas. They are HIS dogs as I never had pets and do not really appreciate indoor pets....although I have come to absolutely adore these dogs. They are just too cute! He has never house-broke them. He puts down potty pads. Lately, he has been forgetting to change them...or he just ignores them. The dogs won't go on dirty pads, so yep, they have started having accidents. Sigh. Hubby was doing pretty good at cleaning up after then, then he went to visit his parents, left the dogs here for me to take care of and it's like the moment he got home...he made some unspoken decision that it's now my job to take care of them. I did it for 5 days....I can do it the rest of my life!

Unfortunately, I HAVE to clean it all up today as we have guests arriving tomorrow. I may be the one who can't make it 2 more weeks before we see the counselor! I really hate being his maid.