Sunday, May 31, 2020

Diabetes and the virus

I am so, so, so grateful that he is no longer alive and that he did not have to go through this pandemic with diabetes.  I cannot fathom what it would be like.

However, the virus has brought back many memories about his diabetes.  I am now 68 years old. So I have been labeled as "vulnerable".  WOW!  Forced to be quarantined way longer than others and I fully expect our governor (Colorado) to add another month tomorrow.

The injustice that I feel is unreal.  I am not VULNERABLE!!!  I am healthy, active, in love with life and now I cannot visit my friends.  Line dancing, karaoke, everything has come to a complete standstill for more than 90 days here.  I live in a building filled with senior apartments.  Our manager decided that we are "congregate care" and imposed needless restrictions on everyone.  I wrote a letter to the president of the board explaining that we are congregate living, not congregate care.  They took the signs down.  But they didn't change our restrictions.

I've probably come closer to breaking all the rules than anyone I know.  We have 2 people sick out of 47,000 in this county that consumes over 1500 square miles!  It is ludicrous that every county is treated the same regardless of the impact on them.  Small business here are not going to open back up.  They didn't make it through this.

I sat here in this building looking out the window on Mother's Day.  Some families lined up and waved.  But my heart ached for the women here who weren't allowed to visit or hug their children or grandchildren.  I think down the road, we will find that this quarantine of the vulnerable was a huge mistake.

And then I think of my husband.  It's almost 2 years since diabetes took his life.  He would never have made it.  He would have been so angry and that would have just kept his glucose levels sky high.  He would probably be in jail.  LOL!  And then I think about the medical aspect of diabetes throughout this pandemic.  Would he have gone to see his doctor?  No.  Would he have gone to the hospital if there was an emergency? No.  He loved to dine out and this would have been his greatest heart break - not being able to dine out.  Would he have survived this?  I'm glad he didn't have to go through it and I don't have to know the answer to that.

Will I survive it?  Of course!  I'm looking for non-congregate living.  I'm looking to buy a tiny house, or a small place.....somewhere where I am totally independent.  Don't get me wrong, I love my apartment complex.  I have a blast here.  But because they have made separate rules where groups of seniors live.....I need someplace else.  Perhaps in addition to this place.  Somewhere i can go if they lock us down again.

My heart truly goes out to the spouses who are dealing with diabetes during this pandemic.  I just can't fathom.  As difficult as it is to be a spouse during normal times, this has to have been the worst experience ever!  My prayers are with each one of you.  May God bless you richly!