Saturday, April 13, 2013

He's back!!

I must really be a terrible person.  I am so not enjoying his company.  He is passing the worst gas ever.  We were in the car for an hour today and I thought I was goimg to vomit.  That's how rank it was.  I know he can't help it, but I can't stand that rank sweet smell that tells me his sugar is out of kilter.  Have you ever smelled what I'm talking about?

He has the volume on the TV so loud the floor vibrates.  Has he gotten that deaf?

H started out driving today and in 5 minutes he had to pull over.  He took a prescription pain pill last night and it made him start to get ill.  I was happy to drive, but I wonder why he even wanted to head out.

He bangs every single door whether it is the kitchen cabinets, the bedroom door or the front door.  I don't know why or when that started.  I think I am just over sensitive to everything right now.  But sad as it sounds, I am not enjoying his company.  Nothing has changed.  It's like I stepped back in time to 7 months ago.  All I can say is that I was blessed to have such a long break.  I am really, truly sorry that I feel this way.  I don't think he has a clue.  He is just like a bull in a china store...plodding his way through life completely obvious to how fragile things around him are!!!

Monday, April 08, 2013

has it been a month?

since I last posted???  WOW!  How time flies.  Hubby is still living a thousand miles away helping out with his dad.  Dad had a colonoscopy last Friday and is in surgery at this moment having 1/3 of his colon removed.  It's cancer.  Age 81.  They will send samples to the lab to see if it has spread to his liver and we will know in a couple of weeks.

Hubby seems to be holding up well.  His brother is there right now.  If all goes well, he will be here the end of the week for 10 days, then back to his dad's so his brother can go home.  I have packed up more of his stuff that he wants to take back with him.  Looks like this separation is for the long haul.

He was supposed to line up doctor's appointments and that didn't happen.  It has been a year since he last saw any of his doctors.  He continues to tell me that he will not go back.  I cannot worry about that.  What I do know is that his A1c is down because he has increased his Humulin Ru500 (5x concentrated) to 40 U am and 40U pm.  I know that is way, way, way high.  I cannot worry about that.

When we video skype, he looks different.  It will be good to see him in person.  I have not seen him since 1/22.  I can tell a lot just by looking at him.

I am keeping busy with gardening.  I'm also in the process of encapsulating the crawl space on my own.  That is a huge undertaking - hauling out chunks of concrete and other items one bucket at a time. I figure someone will find me dead under the house one of these days!  LOL!!!  My son has been coming here on the weekends and helping me dig up sod to put in new flower beds.  Time is flying.  Literally.  It has now been 7 months since hubby moved in with his dad.

I'm doing just fine.  :o)