and he's back

after being gone 6 weeks.  I am truly struggling this time to acclimate myself to life with him.  It is not easy.  OK - it has been extremely hard.

I wonder if it's because we are both getting older.  I wonder if it's because the marriage just isn't working.  I wonder.....

It's the tiniest things that drive me up the wall.  He said, "did you get rid of my laundry basket?"  I said, "no, it's in your closet."  He said, "no, it's not here."

So I put down what I'm working on, get up, walk to his bedroom, look in the closet and point to the laundry basket.  He said, "that's no it."  So I pick it up, take it out of the closet, set it on the bed and he says, "oh, it is!"

What the heck????

I pulled into the garage tonight and parked where I always do.  When I went to open the door, I saw that a drawer on the tool chest had been left wide open.  It sits right where I open the car door.  I had to back up, get out, close the drawer, then pull up again.

He couldn't close a drawer???

He has an old DVD player (huge as it was one of the first ones out) and he wanted me to store it for him.  I asked why?  He said, "We've only had it 3 or 4 years, I just don't want to get rid of it."  I said, "In May, it will be 5 years since we moved into this house and you had it at least 5 years in the last house.  That makes it 10 years old!!!"

He has lost all concept of time!

None of this is anything major, but when it is 3, 4, 5, 6 times every hour - it just builds up.  I could just go on and on with examples like this.  I knew it would happen.  I tried to prepare myself for it.  But for whatever reason it is just not working this time.

I am doing a very good job of keeping my mouth shut.  Biting my tongue.  Trying to accept that this is just how life is with someone who probably isn't getting enough oxygen to their brain, who's kidneys aren't able to get rid of the waste, who refused to do anything about their health.  I am trying hard.  Just not sure it's going to work.  Makes me appreciate the break I just had so much more!

DW