Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I do not "need" this!

Notes to me:

1. MIL called hubby today crying. Hubby is beside himself and ready to jump in the car and drive to her "resuce".

2. FIL is not being released to go home. His oxygen levels are not back to normal. They want to put him in rehab. But even if they release him, he cannot be driven home. They will take him by ambulance the 3 hour drive...just in case he needs oxygen.

3. MIL has refused to leave her home and go the 3 hours to be with him. I will never in my entire life understand that decision. So rather than be with her husband, she calls my husband crying and crying and gets him all upset.

4. FIL's kidneys are failing. He does have diabetes. He just had a triple bypass surgery. This does not surprise me at all, but everyone else seems to be going off the deep end over this.

5. My hubby is in no shape to return to theis "mess". He is still quite ill and this evening has lost his voice once again. I'm scared to death that if he gets in the car and takes off, he is going to end up in a wreck and kill or hurt someone else.

6. I called my SIL to ask her to have her hubby call my hubby, hoping his brother can talk some sense into him.

7. Hubby agreed to wait until morning to see what the doctors have to say. Seems they are only "talking" about rehab at this point

8. I am beyond angry at my MIL for even bothering to call my hubby and get him so upset. She truly has no idea how deathly ill her son is....or how much worse this worry is making him.

9. I truly wonder if I'm going to be able to stay at my girlfriend's house for the duration of my "vacation".

10. I'm starting to worry that my hubby is no longer capable of making logical, rational choices. I have to wonder if he is fearing his own death and that's why he is overreacting to his fathers current condition. I wonder if he can survive his father's death?

11. The only reason I am not calling my MIL and screaming my head off at her is that she will only call my husband crying (again) and make matters worse.

I really don't "need" this. But I do think if/when this blows over I am going to call her and truly let her know how sick her son is and politely ask her to refrain from contacting him..that she is going to have to figure out a way to handle her problems on her own. Note..she really is a huge drama queen.

Monday, April 14, 2008


Comes in doses of 12 hours of sleep a night! I'm visiting a dear friend of mine for the next 3 weeks....and for the last 3 nights I have had 12 hours of sleep. It is so wonderfully amazing. I can feel my body healing. But more importantly, I can feel my spirit healing.

And I'm making a few decisions. I am going to stay with him and stick it out. I truly do love him. But I am also going to take more breaks....stay with friends, little week long respites for me. And hopefully that will help.

I love it where I'm visiting right now. Warm weather and close to the ocean, so yes, think "south". Just so healing to be near the sea. One of the great loves of my life. And I'm surrounded by friends in the art world and happily designing and creating for fun! Sheer joy!

Every caregiver, every spouse should take a break. It's good for the soul!