Saturday, June 02, 2007

Notes/Fatigue and back ache

Today was one of those "we just have to do yard work" days. I noticed that he kept sitting down on the steps so when we broke to get some lunch, I asked if he was OK. He said that he is just totally wiped out and feels weak. I asked if it could be one of the new drugs that he is on or a combination of drugs and he looked a bit surprised, thought a moment and then agreed that it could be. So I suggested that he let his doctors know the next time they see him. He said that he thought he might have low iron. And I reminded him that they could also do something for that.

Then we were talking about contacting landscapers to re-do our yard. I think we want more trees and border hedges. I threw out a couple of ideas and he said that there was no way we could do it ourselves, his back hurt him too much. He said, "Just bending over picking up the few branches you trimmed just about killed me."

Well, that just doesn't seem quite right because I had been bending over picking up branches, twigs and leaves for about 2 hours and he had only done about 5 minutes.

I wonder if at this age, the less you do, the less you are able to do? Has he lost muscle from sleeping so much? Will he ever be able to regain it if he wanted.

So, at lunch, I asked him what his thoughts were about getting a bowflex machine and he said that might not be a bad idea. I know that I could use some muscle building help and it's obvious that he can. My question is....would we use it? I guess we'll find out!

Friday, June 01, 2007

Notes/Swollen temple

Yesterday, hubby had a swollen left temple, very painful, tender to touch and a really bad headache. I asked him to contact his doctor, but he did not.

Today, it was a little better. But he was tired. Slept most of the time from 5 pm - 9 pm.

Not sticking to his low purine diet. Had steak last night and again tonight.

He seems to be sinking deeper into a depression.

Just logging my notes

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Normal A1c and daily highs and lows

When I visit the diabetic nutritionist, she continues to explain to me that although my husband's a1c is within normal range, every time he has a low, he has to be having a high at some point in order to balance the a1c to a normal range. And that those continued highs and lows are not so good for everything else that is going on in his body right now.

He thinks that because his a1c is normal, everything that is going on in his body is related to anything other than his diabetis.

He is such a brilliant man in so many areas, but his logic fails to present itself when it comes to this disease. This past weekend, he said he was having a low and reached for a piece of cake at a relative's house. I noticed that he did not test his blood sugar, so I ponder if he simply just wanted a piece of cake and knew I would see him eat it? or if he was really having a low.....and why did he not notice the "high" that he must have had to balance out his a1c?

Yesterday, we went out to lunch and he did eat a healthy lunch, but then topped it off with a huge piece of chocolate cake and ice cream.

With so many medical problems, I have to wonder if he's not trying to speed up the process, the natural progression of this disease by eating like this. Or is it just beyond the realm of possibilty for him to believe that he can halt the progression? He says that with a normal a1c, there is no need for him to prick himself at all.

There are weeks like this when I think this is the lull before the storm. What will I do if he goes blind? Will I stay? Would I be able to provide care for him? What will I do if the surgeon he is scheduled to visit recommends amputating his feet? There are days when it's almost too much to think about. There are days when I refuse to think about it at all. And there are days when I just get so angry and upset because he won't even try to halt the progression of this disease.

I think today needs to be a day for me to just put it all out of my head and find something constructive to do. One of the greatest things about blogging is that I can write down my fears.....and then stop thinking about them. can be such good therapy!

Monday, May 28, 2007

More spouses.....

A friend found this link and sent it to me:

So perhaps spouses are starting to speak out about uncontolled diabetes and a person's unwillingness to take care of themselves.

My hubby already has neuropathy, kidney failure, erectile dysfunction, tophi gout, high blood pressure, loss of nerve endings/feelings and loss of eyesight.

He will not eat a thing all day long and then eat a bag of Dove chocolate because his sugar is low.

One person wrote "I told him I've been a caregiver all my life and dont feel like seeing you dieing".

I can certainly understand where this person is coming from.


Oh, that is just so familiar!

Someone suggest printing out facts from the internet. I have tried that. Hubby says you can find anything to prove anything on the internet. And he is probably right on that one. But you would think something from the Mayo Clinic would have an impact on him...but it doesn't.

It is so sad to read about the other diabetics who do not take care of themselves. It makes me want to cry because I know exactly what the spouses are going through.


Hubby informed me that he has a cataract coming on one eye. He has had cornea transplant and already wears soft lenses over hard lenses and reading glasses for close up work. I read somewhere that high blood sugars raises the risk of cataract by 40%. His doctors have told him to pay attention to it and when he starts to notice a loss of vision they will discuss it more. He has also been told that he may need new cornea transplants in the near future.

I guess I hadn't thought much about the risk of him going blind...but I know it's possible.

All the signs are there. He just can't "see" what his continued eating pattern does to him. He had cake and pie on Saturday.