Saturday, January 22, 2011

A1c at 8.0

He simply can't get it down. He's gaining weight. I truly hope this doesn't prevent surgery. He went through all the labs and pre-ops this last week. So much to do. His liver function test was really poor. Life goes on. If one thing is good, 10 others are bad or vice versa.

I didn't realize that cortisone wears off in phases. I just thought when he said it had worn off - it was done. But yesterday, he explained that there are stages and right now, he is getting no relief whatsover from his pain. He can barely move. I so hope this surgery helps.

On Thursday, his endocrinologist called and said they wanted to see him. He was supposed to go in last September and skipped the visit. I just refuse to nag him on stuff like this, no matter how important I think it is. This is HIS disease. So I heard him arguing that there was no reason for him to go in before his operations, but then he agreet to go tomorrow. When he hung up, he was furious.

He said he had never heard of this doctor, had never seen her, had never been to that clinic. Of course, he's been there 3 times since his bypass surgery. And I quietly reminded him of his vists and he said, "I never went there!"

It hit me.....they had switched him to Humulin just before surgery and he was crashing low all the time. Of course he doesn't remember going in there. I got out receipts with the doctor's name on it and the location of the clinic. Sort of hard to argue with that! But he truly didn't remember. And what gets me is that it didn't phase him that he didn't remember. He doesn't connect diabetes and sugar lows to lack of memory.

Anyway, we are now going to endo tomorrow. I swear, if they want to change his dose due to his high A1c just before surgery, I may just go off the deep end. I am NOT going to live through another series of lows this next week and that is precicely what happens every time they increase it.

So, what do I do? Do I start nagging him whenever he misses scheduling with a specialist? Then he gets mad and yells at me. Is this my job? REALLY???? And obviously, if I don't nag him, he doesn't go. The problem is that specialists are outside referrals to his HMO....and his HMO doesn't remind him to go and they don't call until months later when someone in their office realizes he hasn't been in.

Hugh sigh!

There's half of me that says - just let him crash. Don't even worry about it. As long as he is taking the dose the doctor tells him to's not my problem.

And the other half of me says - heck no! When he crashes, he yells and screams and tells me to leave. And then he doesn't even remember the horrible things he said. So if I want a peaceful life, then I HAVE to make sure he tests and that he stays pretty level.

In all honestly, I'd rather have him high than low. I know neither is good for him, but life is better when he's high than when he's low.

Lilly, surgery isn't for another week yet. And 2 more office visits to "pass" before we really know he can have this done for certain.

In the meantime, I'm burying myself in art projects this week. Hoping to pass the time quickly and have a little fun in the process!


Monday, January 17, 2011

It was a wonderful weekend!

My sister is too funny. Our brother is having surgery by a surgeon close to her, so he is going to be spending his recovery time with her. Surgery is on 1/20. She called me Friday morning and said, can I come down for the weekend? I need to get away!

Of course I love having her here and we played all weekend. We had the pizza party with our other friends and it was just a hoot.

But don't for one second get me wrong. I have plenty of moments where I get so mad because living with a diabetic is NOT the life I ever asked for, wanted, envisioned, or deserve. I'm just going through my own denial phase and ignoring the fact.

No, I think I've simply turned it all over to him. Once again, it's his disease, not mine. My life goes on. And I'm going to do the best that I can to enjoy it and live it. He can live in his own depression and I will fight every second to stay away from it.

And at least for this last weekend, it worked.

I did have a little pep talk with him and informed him that he could not go to the bedroom until 9 pm each night. And that he had to be social, whether he liked it or not.

He did good! LOL!!!

His sugars are running way too high. About 220 when he wakes up. He did labs this morning. Cannot even fathom what the A1c will come in at. It's not in yet. I just checked and some of the others are back. Triglicerides are at 669. Alt is 84 - liver problems now? He has an appt with his primary on Thurs, will know more then.