Thursday, September 16, 2010

wound is worse

Tuesday, we went to the wound care center for the venous ulcer on his leg.  They presribed a treatment plan.  2 days later the ulcer is noticeably worse. He is supposed to call the doctor if it gets worse.  He did not call.

I want to throw up.

For a million reasons.

Because he refuses to do what they tell him to do.

Because of how bad the wound looks.

Because the "what-if" of it all makes me a nervous wreck.

I somehow think if I throw up, I will feel better.

Now, how stupid is that????!!!


Monday, September 13, 2010

good or bad?

We had the consult with the ortho surgeon on Friday.  They said if we didn't hear from our HMO by today to call them.  So he did.  Turns out the surgeon took hubby's files home with him over the weeekend, so the request to do more xrays didn't get submitted.  Surgeon will be back tomorrow.

So the question is - is it good or bad?  Good that the surgeon was concerned enough to take the medical record home to review over the weekend?  Bad that the condition warrants the surgeon to take it home and study?

I simply told hubby that I thought this was a very good surgeon - someone who cared enough to look more closely at the medical record, and thus we should listen to his final recommendation and take it to heart.  He agreed.

In the meantime, hubby has started having nightmares.  Really bad ones.  Bizzare ones.  Scary ones.  He wakes up and cannot go back to sleep because he is afraid the dream will come back.

I wonder if it's a side affect of one of his medications.

I suggested he call his physician.

He didn't.

In direct contrast, I have been sleeping like a log, getting excellent rest, no dreams and getting my rest.  Hopefully that will continue and I can stay one step ahead of everything else.

He is back in his depression.  He did not leave the house all weekend long.  Did not want to go to the movies or out to eat.  Absolutely nothing.  Just watched movies all weekend long.

I had plenty of things going on and stayed quite busy, yet still concerned about his level of depression.  He continues to refuse to see anyone about it.

The anger outbursts are increasing, but still manageable.  I can understand a lot of it.  Worrying about his back, dealing with the pain.  I think he's pretty much sitting on the edge.  But nothing I can do other than listen and be here for him.  So life goes on.  Overall, it was a quiet weekend.