Wednesday, September 16, 2009

how not to get your comment posted here

If you send me a comment and it has a link in it to a website that is trying to sell something...I probably won't post your comment or make a link to it.

I do, however, check them out and if I think it's something valid - I will be happy to share it.

For the most part - I reject this type of comments. Just os you know.

We had a really good couple of days around here. After last weekends melt-down, I think we both deserve some peace and quiet! I've been hosting a guest instructor in my art studio this week. Last night, hubby came down to the basement to say "hi" to all the "girls". I noticed that he could barely walk on the hard concrete floor Poor guy. I think he wants to be involved but just can't physically get himself around. Most of the rest of our house has nice soft carpeting. I just wonder how much longer before he is going to need a wheelchair.

DW - enjoying the calm

Monday, September 14, 2009

No matter how alone you think you are - you aren't

Anonymous wrote:

I just recently came across your blog. Some of your entries could have been written by me, WORD FOR WORD. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone.

I really wish more wives would blog. When I started this I honestly thought I was all alone. But I have learned that I'm not alone at all in this. While our experiences are all different - there is a common thread in dealing with diabetics who have lows and highs. There is the angst of their memory lapses, dealing with the cruel and cutting words, yet continuing to stay, continuing to love them.

So no matter how alone any of us might think we are at the moment it happens....know that none of us are every really alone.

Now, that being said - it's not just can be anything that causes grief and pain. I have a good friend here who has a 21 year old son who is threatening suicide. He is in counseling. She left on vacation. The therapist called my friend in a panic because she could not find my friends son and feared he had committed suicide.

This poor woman was 1300 miles away from home. WHAT was the therapist doing calling her? Of course, it put the dear woman into sheer panic and I don't think she has stopped crying, although she is back home now.

My words to her were straight forward. The boy is 21. She was an exceptional mom. He is now responsible for his decisions, for the choices he makes. And while his choices will grieve her, break her heart, rip her soul out....the most important thing she can do is accept that they are his choices and she can no longer change him, fix him, mend is up to him from now on and has been up to him for the past few years.

And then it hit me.....I could have just as easily been talking about any non-compliant diabetic. We can expend 100% of our energy taking care of them, making sure they eat right, getting them to exercise, trying our best to keep them healthy and compliant. But in the end.....we can't fix them, we can't force them, and we cannot be responsible for the choices that they make.

So the best thing we can do is get on with our lives, live our lives to the fullest, live a prepared life knowing that they might die any second, be always ready for a low or a high, but most important, take care of our own selves - so that we have the energy to take care of them when we have to.

And know that we are never alone


Sunday, September 13, 2009

Divorce rates

TW wrote:
I think I may try starting my own blog also, I hope some people will read it also. Any suggestions?

Just do it! Write from the heart. Write the bare bones truth. When it's good, don't forget to write. But when it's bad, spill your guts!

I have no idea how many people see this blog - it's for me. It's simply a record of what I go through. No, I take it back. This is for his kids. When he dies, I will point them here if they want to know what his life was like. They have very little contact with him as they are just too busy with their own lives. But also, I believe they feel that they were abused as kids because he was always yelling at them (lows). I have no doubt it's why his first wife left.

Your next post was:

You know, it would be interesting to know if divorce rates are higher among diabetics than non-diabetics. And whether there is a gender relationship or not. But that is just my curiosity related to know whether or not I'm "normal" or crazy. LOL

You can google this and see that the divorce rate is higher....but I didn't get a number on it. Here's the problem with any of these statistics. Unless you've figured out the whole high/low/anger thing - you'll divorce the guy for a ton of other reasons before you realize you are divorcing him due to his diabetes. Heck, 3 years ago, I would have left in a heartbeat for verbal abuse. And what about the impotence that the drugs bring on? I'll just bet that's a higher statistic than diabetes and women just don't realize it's the disease that is doing this to their husbands

I'm still stuck with the issue that medical examiners list the cause of death as a heart attack.....when we know if they have diabetes this is really a secondary cause of death It's the neuropathy that causes the heart attack. So diabetes should be listed as the primary cause of death.....but that never happens.

We had a pretty good day today. I am still completely drained....but made progress with my cleaning and sorting. Have a very busy week ahead of me with art - classes, workshops and shows. All great fun! Won't be home too much, so anticipating a good week.