Thursday, February 08, 2007

And he says, "Look, my feet are better"......

and I'm thinking "your eyesight is getting worse!" But I didn't say it! LOLOL!

I swear, I do not see any improvement in his feet at all....but perhaps they are feeling better, so I'm going to take this as a positive note in our battle to hang onto all 10 toes! I see him hobble and am not so sure there is any improvement. But life goes on. And I am really pushing him to be a bit more active, to do things, to get out and about.

We made it to LA and San Diego and back in the past few weeks and that is great. I know there were moments when he wanted to give up, but he was a real trooper, helping me out with my projects and work. Travel is always so hard as it's nearly impossible to eat right. I give him credit for really trying to stick to a low purine diet. I just need to convince him that a serving is closer to 3 ounces than 10 ounces! LOLOL! And I need to convince him that when it says 4 servings per week....that doesn't mean you can change the day you "start" your week on whenever you want!

My, he can be funny and taxing at the same time!

I am moving forward with my life. Painting the walls in our house once again. Trying to bring in some color, make things a bit brighter. I've started with the "exercise" room which used to be a guest bedroom. Painted the walls eggplant and peri. OK...shades of purple which is his favorite color. the hopes that he will go into the room more often! I have a TV on the wall and a treadmill and bicycle. Now...if I can just get him to use them! I'd love to add a bowflex and then the room would be done. Well, I still need to find a suitable lamp....then it will be done.

Next I'm starting in on the dining area. I'm so tired of plain off-white walls and long for color. And painting walls seems to be quite theraputic for me. Sort of like I'm getting the house ready to sell because I know the day is coming when he is going to be in a wheelchair and we can't stay here.

At the same time, I've relocated my space to the basement where I can spread out....and most importantly, I am not at his fingertips. He will have to get up and fetch his own drink of water, his lunch....I've told him I'm going to work from 8 - 5 every day in the basement.....and he is on his own. Maybe he will decide to start going into the office a bit more if I'm not a holler away! :o)

So, life goes on. At least the screaming and yelling seems to be put at bay for the moment. He does not seem to be quite so frustrated. But I know his blood sugar is still totally out of control and I know he is not eating right. And yes, I do think he is committing suicide one day at a time. But it is a bit like living with an alcoholic. I can't help him. No one can. And until he wants to help himself....all I can do is take care of me.

Hope you all are doing better as well.