Tuesday, December 18, 2012

My sincere apologies

to those who have emailed me in private these last 3 months and I have not responded.  Not to make excuses, but my laptop died and I have been blogging from my ipad.  Not the easiest thing to do.  And I use yahoo as my email for this blog and it somehow was attacked by a website that posted 3 - 4 emails a day.  So when I looked, I never saw your emails!

Today....I am the proud owner of a new laptop!  YEAH!  And as I was transferring email accounts over....I stumbled on so many emails from all of you.  Most about the time that mom died.  I'm actually happy to have waited to read them tonight.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  I did try to respond to each one of them, so if you did not get a note from me and you wrote to me, try again!  (I think I got rid of the spammer!)

Also today, we got all the paper work notarized and filed.  It was a terribly busy day.  Some sadness.  But we both agree this is the route we need to take.  As I wrote to someone, I am grateful that I know I will be getting a 6 month break.  I need it.  I am going to rest.  Work in my garden in the spring - they are all flowers if I didn't mention that.  I planted 120 tulips last fall and am anxious to see if any pop up this spring! The climate here is a bit warmer than where we lived, so I'm not sure I've planted them too deep for the old months.  I will find out soon enough!

I have to repaint the ceiling in the house, take are of a few other things when I get back.  So I will be busy and I will keep posting.  We are moving forward with debt reduction negotiations with his creditors.  That will be an interesting project.  I've done a ton of research so I think we can handle this on our own.  When I went to the court house today, the clerk was impressed with how accurately we had completed all the paperwork and said that we didn't miss a single form. She couldn't remember that ever happening.  I was pleased.  If one can be pleased about getting a separation.

Once again, my apologies to all of you who wrote when mom died.  I do think I'm going through the grief process just fine and am on the upward side of things.  Life is starting to look a little better.  I'm getting more active with my art and will teach classes once I get back home.  Hopefully I can have 6 months of happy posts here!


Sunday, December 16, 2012

Agreeing to agree

He is home and things are going ok.  Medically:  horrible digestive problems.  Not sleeping.  Terrible back, hip pain.  Glucose a little high, but better than it has been.  40 units of humulin ru 500 each am and pm.  That's a ton of insulin going in.

We are heading back to his dads this weekend as his brother will be flying home.  I will stay 3 weeks then drive home.  He will stay 3 months, then home a month, then back for 3 months.  Then we will reevaluate.  We have agreed to get a legal separation and he is going to quit claim deed the house to me.   Probably the best of all worlds for now.  I see a difference in him.  He now has to look after his dad and it is wearing on him.  Yes, I could stay with him, but he actually wants me here as he's not comfortable leaving our home unoccupied for an extended period of time.  I also think he does not want me to have the stress of being there when I want to be here with my family.

It is interesting as I see my family moving forward thru our grief process over mom ....and his family is not.  They still talk as though his mom is coming home tomorrow.  His dad was here for 2 days...to meet his gr grandchildren.  I agree with my hubby that if they moved his dad right now, it would kill him.  So we are agreeing to agree to this arrangement for the next 6 months, then we will reevaluate it.  Hubby does not want to stay at his dads, but for now, it's what he thinks is best.  I'm letting him call the shots as I do not want to be blamed for anything that goes wrong.  And I think a legal separation may be a soft way to proceed with a divorce.  I'm not saying that we won't live together in the future, but for now, this is what we both agreed will work best.

And this may just be the whack on the side of the head that hubby needs to wake him up.  He is still extremely upset at how fast his mom died and with absolutely no warning.  I guess he thought that really didn't happen??  I am praying that he realizes what this would do to those who love and care about him if he drops dead from a heart attack.

Needless to say, it will be an interesting few months and I am planning to use my time to rest and gear up for whatever the next phase of my life might bring!!  I will continue to post updates to his medical condition from time to time.