Tuesday, June 02, 2015

Life goes on

A week after my last post, hubby's dad passed away.  We left the next day to go back.  Hubby had just finished his last doctor's appointment that day.

So things just went downhill from there.  In retrospect....was it grief?  was it a diabetic low?  was it just stress?  I will never know, but the fights were horrendous and just seemed to grow.  Hubby started making terrible decisions faster than I could absorb them.  I tried to be supportive.  His brother was there and pushing so hard as he needed to get things done before he went home.

Eventually, I broke down.  Walked out - climbed up into the hills, found a rock and had a good cry.  Hubby called asking me to come back.  Well, where was I going?  LOL!  After I finished my cry, I went back and things were a little better.  Both guys decided to back off on making changes.  Things slowed down.  But there were more huge fights.  

I think the worst one was a sugar related one.  It's been so long since I've been around him I really had to give it time to sink in.  And oh, my goodness....the memories just came flooding back.  

So I am back home now.  He and his brother are going to keep their parent's place.  I am not going back.  Hubby can decide to stay or come back here - I just do not care.  I have made my "rules" pretty clear - if he comes back here, he is going to keep the place clean, smell free, no fights, and deal with his problems.    But I need a few weeks alone here.  It has been intense.  But death always is.  

I am most mad at myself as I had lost 35 pounds and I have now put 20 back on.  So back on the diet tomorrow and I am not going to do this again. I can't!  I'm just too old.  ha ha!  I know it was all stress eating and I do have to get that under control.

So, how does your diabetic spouse deal with grief and sugar highs and lows.  A new, rather interesting situation for me.

If he does move back, I will be back to posting more often.  In the meantime, I have loads of gardening to get to as I have been gone more than I've been home this year.