Monday, April 16, 2012

It never ends.

Last week, we had a conversation.  He has promised me we would buy a small retirement home where my mom lives.  I told him I was afraid that when he got to his parents house, he would feel all guilty and decide that we should move and take care of them.  He said, "no, we will move to where you mom is, I promise."

So he just skyped me and the deal that we are working on in the little cottage is falling through.  Long story.  But we both agreed to let it go.  Then he said, "we could always live here for free."  I just shook my head no.

Why does he do this?  Promise me one thing then change his mind?  Try to worm his way out of an agreement.  Yes, we could move in with his parents and live there for free, but absolutely nothing in life is free.  They are the kind of people who would remind us daily.  They hate me.  Why would I want to move there?  They would expect me to cook and clean.  No - that is not going to happen.  I have my own retirement income that will support me.

What he'd better think about is that he wants me to add him to my health insurance plan this fall when his runs out.  And I cannot do that if we are living in 2 separate places.  And while I would love to live rent free....not at the price of being with his parents day in and day out.

I also know that they may not live much longer.  But they could live another 10 years and I'm way too old to live under those conditions for 10 years!!!

Basically, I'm just writing down my thoughts here.  I need to point to a date and time when he made a verbal agreement with me.  Because I know when he gets home, this conversation is going to come up again.  I'm not going to allow him to use the argument that he never said this or that, or that he doesn't remember saying it!!!

So the deal on the retirement cottage is gone.  We missed the deadline on purpose.  It is a buyers market and the owner added and added and added to his side of the deal until I just got burnt out and think it's best if we go back to looking and find someone who actually wants to sell their place!  We had a verbal agreement, but when we put it in writing, the seller did not sign, but countered with more items he wanted.  At this point, we will just wait until we get all the cash from his retirement/severance and make a cash offer.

Does nothing though to relieve my stress and I'm sure it's why he thinks we should now move in with his parents!  Nope, not happening!!!



Mary said...

So sorry that you are having to deal with this. Hope things work out.

Lilly said...

So sorry the deal on the cottage fell through. I was really hoping for you that it would work out. Under no circumstances should you "cave" and move in with his parents, but then again, you know that. Some of your past posts have made it abundantly clear that moving in with them would be a HUGE mistake.

As far as hubby waffling back and forth on what he agreed to do, it's smart of you to hold him to it, and be able to point to a date when he said it. If he chooses not to follow through, it will be up to him to figure out how his health expenses will be covered with no insurance . . .

Take care and be strong,


Cara said...

It was pretty sad that you weren’t able to get the cottage. I mean, owning a retirement place and doing things that you love most would be a great way to spend your retirement years. Hope that your husband reconsidered. Also, good luck on finding your retirement place! Keep us posted!

Cara Larose