Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Dear Mary,

I'm working from my iPad this morning so I can't copy and paste your comment from a few posts back.

Your wrote about losing friends because they did not believe what you said your diabetic spouse did.

Trust me. I completely understand. I have lost numerous friends over the last few years over this.

I wonder if it's like getting married and all your still single friends sort of fall by the wayside. Or like having a baby and most of your childless friends get tired of you blabbering on about your new baby's first this or that.

So your spouse gets diabetes and your friends don't want to listen about it so they part ways.

I've sort of put it in the marriage/baby category. And yes, the loss of a good friend hurts. But I find I get mad at myself for trusting that they would stick with me no matter what happened.

Over the years, a lot of my personal friendships have been with people I worked with. Trust me, it doesn't take long for them to bail once you leave a job. And I do not have any close long distance friends as its just too much to try and keep up.

Fortunately, my 3 sisters have become my best friends. But we were not always like that either. But we have grown up and come to realize that in our 50-60 years of living...we are still each others best friends and can count on the simple fact that if any one of us is in need, the others will drop what they are doing, leave work, and be there as soon as possible.

So I now invest my time and energy in family and if someone else wants to be my friend, they have to at least meet me half way. If they don't, it's not really a friendship.

And no matter what your hubby did, I would never doubt you. Those of us with diabetic spouses hav all experienced ridicously outlandish behavior in our spouses.

Know that you are never alone. Never.



Mary said...

Thanks DW, it means a lot to me that you acknowledge my grief over losing friends.


Lilly said...

How sad. I can honestly say that I haven't lost anyone I consider to be a real friend because of things I have told them about hubby's craziness. So sorry for you, Mary, and others this has happened to. How unfair!