Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Blog names

I was doing a little research online and these names of blogs were so much fun, I had to share them!

The Rock in My Shoe (a diabetic)

The Joys of Secondhand Diabetes (a spouse)

Daddybetes (dads dealing with kids diabetes0


So I'm thinking I should change my blog name:


The thorn in my side!

The thrill of the roller coaster ride!

wife can beat this

I could go on and on!  But what fun!!!

As I've been reading through other blogs, the same thing hits me.

Most diabetics are in denial about what their future has in store for them....compliant or non-compliant, the end result of elevated glucose is bound to catch up with them at some point in time.

The never-ending constant words that they are upbeat, positive, doing great, loving life, living life....yada, yada, yada.  I just want to say, are you serious???  Wait until you turn 60 and you've had this disease since you were 20.

The positive spin that therapists put on diabetes.....if you eat right, you can control your sugar.
Really?  when you've had this so long that your body can't fix things, it's all worn out....nothing is going to help!!!

Oh, and don't forget the pumpers.  Life is always grande with a pump.  No one dares write about the pump fails, cleaning it out, how it can miss warning signs....

And the future.  It's like a blank page on the world wide web.  Where is the personal experience of a diabetic who is in stage 5 ESRD?  Who writes about the decision to forego dialysis?  And who blogs about kidney failure?  Not chronic kidney failure....but the kind that is gradual and goes on forever?

Stay active.  Walk.  Exercise.  Eat healthy.  That's what they write about.  But what happens when your body gives out and you cannot physically exercise?  What happens when you lose the desire to eat healthy?  Why isn't anyone writing about that?  Depression?  Who's blogging that?

Not to mention life in a wheelchair with diabetes, leg amputations, loss of touch, ED...the list is pretty much endless!

It's like the whole diabetes world has to stay positive, has to stay upbeat, has to stay cheerfully happy....in order to maintain.  Isn't that sort of a lie?  A lot of self-pep-talk?  Always a cheerleader, never a player in life?

I really do try to write about the good days as well as the bad days.  it's just that the bad days seem to outnumber the good days about 20 to 1.

But I am constantly researching the web to see if anyone is writing about what happens next.  What is the journey from stage 4 kidney failure to stage 5?  What is the process from 5x concentrated insulin to dialysis?  What is the personal impact of that journey?  And why isn't anyone out there preparing the diabetic for that?

It's almost like there's this unspoken code out there...."we do not write about the future unless it's positive and happy."

What a shock when it isn't so positive and happy!  I mean, you have diabetes for 30 years and die of a heart attack...so it wasn't the diabetes that killed you?  it wasn't the high sugar that clogged your arteries? After all, it does say "heart attack" on your death certificate!!!

OK, so I get it that no one wants to write about the "bad" stuff.  But don't we need the warning signs, the yellow and red lights, the flags....so we know what to do when they hit???

Does denial stay with a diabetic until death?  Are spouses overlooking all the warning signs?  Do we just go through life blindly and not talk about how scared to death we are of those 30 and 40 readings???

Something to give thought to.  :o)

So, in the vein of writing honestly about diabetes....hubby is slipping into a deep depression over the loss of his job.  I think I've been pretty honest in my writing the past couple of years about how he will take a nap in the morning and in the afternoon.  Yet he is "on the clock".  But because he works from home, if he doesn't have a conference call to be on, he will snooze.  Did he think this would not have an impact on his performance?  Did he think he could get away with this forever?  I honestly think he did!

His last day is a week from tomorrow.  Several of his employees are flying in this weekend to surprise him.  There's a big party Friday and one Saturday.  He is terribly loved by his employees.  Think about it....would you fly at your own expense to attend your bosses retirement party that is not a company sponsored event?  I cannot think of any boss I ever had that I would have done that for!!!

My fear is that in a week, when he has left the company and everyone has flown back home....his depression is going to fly off the charts and I have no clue how to handle that!

Yes, I have asked him to make appointments with all of his doctors and he has not done that.  Tomorrow is my day to be a little more forceful and really try to get him to schedule the appointments.  I really hate to nag him, but I think this is rather important.  I have to wonder the impact of depression on diabetes.  How does one handle depression and diabetes?

Just random thoughts coming from a wife who happens to be pretty scared of the future right now.



Pearlsa said...

Hello Wife of a Diabetic,

The all positive all the time spin on living with diabetes is just not true.Diabetes as with life has it's ups and downs

I have come across blog posts that are very positive however I do read some blogs that honestly write about the dark times. I recently posted about my Diabetes Burnout and fighting my way back.


As for the future I try not to think too much about it, I try to see the glass as half full instead of half empty. Because if I truly believe in the dark future then what is the point in living.

Lilly said...

Actually, I think Michael Hoskins does make an effort to share the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is his latest post:


I do agree with you though, that many diabetics do their very best to live in complete denial. I wonder if it's just that they are terrified?