Saturday, February 11, 2012

From John to Tigo....and more

John said:

For Tigo - Look at his feet! ( I bought a foot water massager for the wife, she does not use it! she already has lost most of the feelings on the bottom of her feet. They are cracked and worn out like someone in their 80's <-- her choice) 
The diabetic makes the choice to stay healthy or not, I get the side affects of that choice. 
What choices do I have? stay with the side affects and take care of my family? Leave and be a weekend dad hope my young kids know how to give needles? Leave with the kids and have to explain to them why mom died? and even if I did not have kids, do I say " I left my wife because she was too sick, but I am really a good guy!"
The neuropathy is one of the most nasty side affects of being diabetic not only is most of the feeling gone in her feet but it spreads to her hands as well. I don't want to think about her losing bladder control and gases like dw's husband.  

Dear John,
Looking at their feet - excellent suggestion.  I forget these things.  My husband's feet were horribly gnarly when I first met him.  When I asked him about it, he said it was his Scottish ancestry.  Can you believe that is actually what his doctor at that time told him?  So of course, I believed him!  Shortly after that he changed health insurance and had a whole new set of doctors who told him it was his gout!!!  I am still so shocked about that doctor!!!  Plus, as a genealogist, I took his family back to Holland, so he's not Scottish at all!  LOL!!!

Your choice is to stay, I already know that.  And yes, you should probably teach your children (when they are old enough to learn) how to give their mom an insulin shot if/when she needs one.    You are a "really good guy" - whether you stay or leave.  We each have to make these decisions on our own....but how is that any different than a diabetic deciding to remain non-compliant and thus injuring us?

I agree, neuropathy is horrible.  But my experience with hubby that it gets much worse the longer they have this disease and the higher the A1c goes.  I just wish hubby could go back to 5 years ago.....he was so much better then.  I really did not know how bad it could get, did I?


More from John:

For DW, I found this link about gas problems. but again it is his choice to make that change to fix that! Which you and me know in our hearts that he will not do!

maybe you can buy some beano and crush it into his food? I do that with the kids for some stuff when they are sick! oh and the 1 time I had to do that for the cat in her food! :)

Dear John,  

Glad to see you have a sense of humor!  Ha ha!

I looked at that website:

He has given up dairy
He refuses to eat any vegetables, and normally does not eat anything whole grain
If it's got fructose in it, he's most likely not about to give that up
He eats apples, but nothing else on that line.  It is the only fruit he eats
Get him to give up starches?  Hardly!
Fibers - he does not get enough of that 
Proteins - something else he probably will never give up.

He's made those decisions.

#3 is a good possibility except I think they just tested him for this.

#4 - even his physician said it is neuropathy of the intestines.

He's been to a registered dietician numerous times.  They always give him a great diet.  He never follows it.  We have ended up throwing out thousands of dollars worth of food that just spoils in the refrigerator.

He says eating is the only thing he has left in life.  He knows the consequences.  He told me that he would rather eat what he wants and die earlier than have to give this up as well.  And while I understand, it is still heartbreaking.

In the last 2 weeks, we have transitioned to separate bedrooms.  He is OK with it and says he is sleeping better because he doesn't wake up worrying about me being awake because of him.  And I am now back to sleeping all night long.  I think we are both happier.  I usually go into his room and sit in the chair next to his bed and watch TV with him until I get sleepy.  That seems to be ok with him.  But I still am having trouble getting past the thought of not sleeping with my husband!  Thanks to Lilly for giving me the strength to do this!


1 comment:

Lilly said...

Diabetes Wife,

You are very welcome, although I'm not sure if "thanks" are in order. Making the decision to move to my own room was necessary, as I could no longer function well during the day because of sleep deprivation. Falling asleep over my desk at work wasn't really an option!

Am I happy with the fact that I can no longer sleep with my husband? It still makes me sad, but life has really improved for both of us since the move to separate bedrooms, especially with his crazy mixed-up sleep schedule.

As far as your hubby's decision to eat what he wants because it's something that he enjoys . . . I think that is happening with my hubby, too. And as you already know, we really can't get them to eat healthy, etc. if they really don't want to. Frustrating, but true.

Hang in there,