Sunday, April 03, 2011

comments on comments.......

Comments from "Too tired"

But first, why repost comments?

Because it's just not so easy to go backwards in these blogs and see what others wrote - and I think it's important to give validity to their comments. :o)

Lilly wrote:

As you and I have said before, if we could get all the doctors that our hubbies see in one room together, it would be so much easier. I wonder if they could come to any type of agreements then? I really wish this could be done, because we as spouses end up trying to take it all on with the disagreements about meds, etc., and (you are right!) it is totally exhausting. The depression and feeling useless is something that my husband faces every day as well. He was basically forced into medical/disability retirement at the age of 40, so he has had a lot of time on his hands feeling useless, as almost all of his friends are still working. Most of the time, I don't have the energy to deal with it either, as I feel like I am picking up the pieces on everything else. Hang in there. I KNOW none of this is easy! Lilly

After hubby's most recent hospitalization, and all the follow up visits, I have come to the conclusion that nephrologists think they are gods. And possibly with some justification. After all, if the kidneys stop functioning there isn't much left. Nephrologists stopped his medicines (4 of them) without talking to us about it. Hmmm.....making life altering choices without discussing them with the patient or the patient's family? must think of themselves as gods. That's the only explanation I can come up.

So if we put all the specialist into a single room - the nephrologist would take over the meeting, try to control everyone else, make all the decisions and determine what's next. And that is exactly what happened at the hospital.

I personally would prefer to defer to the cardiologist. From what I have seen, they are more concerned about the whole person. Yes, their speciality is he heart....but they also seem to know more of what the entire body needs.

Hubby's nephrologist wants him off his atenolol.....which the cardiologist said to never stop, no matter what. That was written in his hospital chart, yet the hospital nephrologist stopped it.

Think there's a "power play" going on there? LOL!!!

I'm sorry DW. I hate specialist. I hate them with a passion. I voice this from personal experience of dealing with them for my own health issues. They will NOT look at the whole person and don't care what any other specialist says or does. At most they give seven minutes of their time and with hand on door-knob ask if there is anything else. I think someone can "wish yourself to death". Having the will to live is half the battle. Hopefully he can cheer up. It sounds like he (and YOU) had a truely terrible day. My prayers go out to you both. S

Hubby is still depressed. But I have been gone most of the weekend either teaching or presenting. Haven't had to deal too much with his mood.But it's no better tonight. Sigh.

Tom’s wife

f you could wish yourself to death, my 104-year-old grandmother would have died 10 years ago when my grandfather died. Instead she lies curled in a ball at a nursing home being forced to drink ensure and moved around by aides all the time. the horrible part of your situation is that the medical industry is more focused on the benefit to the "stockholders" and the managers and less on the care of the patients! From a distance, we can let some of these young care-givers off of the hook a little, they are limited by the training and rules they are given and must follow. But often one wonders about their compassion. I guess that is no longer a necessary trait of a person in the profession. Its ok that you are not the cheerleader for a day or two. If he is depressed -- well, then he is. This is not uncommon and another condition that (in my humble opinion) he also needs to address. You and I know that in all probability I will do exactly the same things you are doing to care for my Tom when he is in the same condition as your hubby -- so my words must be taken with a grain of salt. However, what I want for you is to give him back some of the control and responsibility and "force" him to stand up for himself and throw your documentation into the face of his doctors and tell them himself that he needs help. even if some of that help is medication for his depression. enough said, you know this, and it is so much easier said than done -- especially from the anonymity of the blog-world good luck -- know my heart is with you. and I hope Monday (work) brings good news. Tom's Wife

I guess I think that if you are ready to die spiritually, if you are really ready to let go of life, then one can wish themselves dead. I am a genealogist and I have seen so many cases where one spouse died within a few days of losing the first spouse. And they were healthy. They just wished themselves to death. But I also think we can never really know another person's soul. Are they clinging to life because on some level they are not ready to go? My father was not supposed to make it home from the hospital to hospice care yet he lived 2 more weeks waiting for his brothers to arrive from out of state to say goodbye to him. I mean, this guy had a zero percent chance to live 1 hour after they unhooked the heart/lung machine against medical advice. He had an 8% heart/lung capacity, no kidney function....yet he lived 2 more weeks. Just amazing.

No comments: