Monday, April 11, 2011


Hubby's staff gifted me with a full day at a local spa and the day is tomorrow! Can't wait! My "reward" for taking care of him the last 2 months.

But I wonder, can you make yourself too busy....trying to escape caregiving, the illness?

I taught all day Saturday.

Yesterday I attended a genealogy meeting in the morning, then taught a little girl how to sew in the afternoon.

Today, we got puppy food, groeries, went out to lunch

Tomorrow is my spa day

Wednesday I teach one craft class in the morning

Thursday, we go to the surgeon's office and hour away, then over to assist an elderly couple with their computers

Friday I have a playday with another artist

Saturday - I teach again all day.

Hmmmm.....and I wonder why life is flying by.

So, update on him. I can't tell, but I'd bet his labs are now going in the wrong direction. For whatever reason, when we were in the pet store today, I had this bizzare thought go across my mind. What would I do if he passed out on the floor right there? He doesn't want me to call 911 and the store isn't going to want him on the floor and I couldn't begin to lift him up. And then I imagined myself smacking myself across the face and told myself to stop the nonsense worrying!!! LOL!

We went to lunch next and here's the kicker. He said, "I had another one of those spells where I get tunnel vision when we were in the pet store. I had to really concentrate to keep from passing out."

WOW!!! How bizzare is that? I was thinking about him passing out at the very moment he was focusing on trying not to pass out.

Spooky if you ask me!

So we were talking about it and he tells me that this is happening several times day. It's not getting any better. He feels like he is getting weaker, not stronger. That was evidenced this morning when he got up at 6 am, got on a business call at 7 am, came out and laid down on the sofa at 7:30 am with his headset in and the phone on..and fell asleep. He was snoring! Thank goodness for the mute button. But how on earth can he keep working when he can't stay awake???

Next, he confesses that not only is he having regular episodes of tunnel vision, trying not to pass out, he has episodes where he is so weak, he cannot move.

I suggested that he contact his physician to discuss it with him. Think that's going to happen???

This evening, he was lying on the sofa and looked at me and said, "I don't know if I can get up." He did manage to get up, but I could tell it was very difficult for him. He says his glucose is running around 160 which, for him, is really low. He said, "I just do not want to go on if I don't have the energy to go on." And that totally makes sense to me.

I'm truly praying that he will bring all this up with the surgeon on Thursday. But he can be so vain at times and he wants everyone to think that he is recovering just fine. I do not want the surgeon to release him to drive if he is going to be having these spells where he has to concentrate in order to not pass out. Oiy!!!



Lilly said...

I often wonder if there are times I make myself "too busy" as well. Sometimes, I think this is how I cope with the craziness at home, but don't know if it really helps or not.

As far as hubby almost passing out in the pet store, it sounds as if on some level, you "knew" what was going on! Is there any way you can just tell hubby's surgeon what is going on, as it sounds like he needs you to if he won't? I agree, he should definitely not be driving, or there will only be bigger problems to deal with. You probably already know that kidney failure causes a LOT of weakness and inability to stay awake.

Hang in there and take care,


Lilly said...

Just re-read this post, and was reminded that you are "into" genealogy too. I could spend hours in this, and only wish that I had more time to devote to it. Isn't it fascinating what we find out about our ancestors? I like to think it also helps me understand where I've come from, and (maybe) what makes me "tick!" Amazing stuff.

Anonymous said...

A full spa day. What a thoughtful gift from hubby's staff. I hope it was truely wonderful and you were treated like a queen.

I've had the eerie exact moment thing happen once with my brother. I was getting on the highway, running a quick errand during lunch, and I envisioned the car rolling. Not like rolling down a hill, but a spiral roll while going forward.

Instead of mentally slapping myself, I said a quick prayer for a safe trip. Then I found out a few hours later at that exact moment my brother was hit by a car and had a forward spiral roll crash.

Would your DH be upset if you mentioned the tunnel vision to the doctor?

I pray he starts to get his strength back.


Crazy Wife said...

I hope that you had a great day at the spa. It is well deserved.

Have you found anything out about what was/is going on with your DH with the tunnel vision/passing out. That is scary. Although I can half picture you two in a store and he passes out... you just keep shopping because he doesn't want you to call the EMT's. I know it's not funny, but just picturing.. :)