I wonder if he knows what he puts me through when he goes low?
10:00 pm last night:
57
OJ
wait 15 minutes
test
54
Peanut butter
wait 15 minutes
test
48
He's getting grouchier by the moment. Refuses to drink water. Won't take a glucose tablet or a smartie. Refused those from the beginning. Starting to get paler (is that possible?) Blood pressure is dropping. He says he's tired. Doesn't want anything at all to eat right now. Doesn't want to test his sugar again. Just wants to go to sleep.
Do I walk over and smack him?
Do I start a rip roaring argument?
Obviously, he's still getting too much insulin. Will he remember in the morning? Well, at least he can look at his meter and see that he went low. But how do I get him to test a 4th, 5th and 6th time if he goes low?
Do I just let him go to sleep and pray that whatever happens, it will be ok?
Particularily rough day and I am exhausted already. Literally no strength left to give him an ounce of support. I'm so exhausted from the last 3 weeks that I'm sick to my stomach. Ever been that worn out? Can only think of once in my lifetime, I was 21 and had mono. Took me 6 weeks to recover from that.
He promises to test one more time. I tried so hard to stay awake, but I wasn't successful. The next thing I remember it was 6 am and a woodpecker was pounding on the side of the house, waking me up. Woke him up, too.
He said he fell asleep the same time I did. We looked at his meter and he did not test again. So no idea where his glucose was...but we both made it through the night,
I can't allow myself to do all the "what ifs". There is nothing left in me to expend on wasted worries.
Today, his left leg is on fire. It's where they took the vein(s) from. He is in severe pain. He has it elevated and has heat on it. We will keep an eye on it. Glucose is up to 157 this morning. Need to get it back down. Will retest in half hour.
Need to come up for a better word than exhausted. Drained? Zapped? Way too old for this? Overwhelmed? Burdened? And I'm getting a good 8 hours of sleep every night!
Hopefully we will both get caught up on rest this weekend,
DW
Saturday, March 27, 2010
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1 comment:
Wife: Chances are your husband does not know what he's putting you through, at least not at THAT moment. When we go Low, resistence and fussiness are common happenings. We will fight to avoid eating or drinking what's necessary. For Type 1s, that can manifest into crazy, surreal, sci-like scenes where you're more like an Alien trying to poison him rather than a loving spouse trying to help. That is what it is. Hopefully, your husband is someone who feels guilt following these Lows and apologizes after the fact. They are tormenting on those who must confront them, and I personally am thankful for my wife, the efforts of my parents during my childhood, and all those who've had to deal with diabetic hypos to whatever extent. Thanks for posting this, and continued wishes for good luck your way.
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