I am new to this -went looking for something on the internet in the form of support. My husband has been a diabetic for over 30 years, had a lower left leg amputation in 2003 and is currently fighting an infection on his right foot (that in itself is a very long story). It is coming along but on Monday his blood sugar was so low that I ended up calling 911. I have not been at ease since. Scared me to death, for sure. Praying alot. I will keep reading this blog. Thank you - I feel so overwhelmed at times.
Linda, my suggestion is that you seek professional counseling. I know you must be really scared that he is going to die or something worse is going to happen....but I think you need to mentally prepare yourself for this. Because it's going to happen sooner or later. He might live for quite some time, but he could go tomorrow and as scary as that is, I think each one of us has to prepare ourselves for that very fact.
My husband had an angina attack in May and still hasn't been to see a doctor for that. It's usually a "warning" that a heart attack could happen or a stroke. I waffle between denial (since his has been doing so well) and reality (because he did have an agina attack).
I pray a lot, too. I think the praying helps calm me down - mabye like meditation. It centers me. And I think we all feel overwhelmed most of the time. It's just such a horrible disease. They can go so low, at the drop of a pen. So fast, and you don't have a moment to prepare yourself. You can be engaged in normal every day living one moment and the next moment, the ambulance is at your door and you are on the way to the hospital. It's so nerve-wracking.
I have days when I think I should wipe my calendar clear and just wait But the therapist I saw told me not to do that. She said that I needed to have something to do to keep me busy every day. That I needed to get a job, volunteer, teach, get out of the house, go somewhere - keep myself busy I took her advice and I think it was good. But I still have moments when I think I should quit everything that I do and be here just for him. I'm sort of glad I didn't take that path
Hope you can get past this and back to a more normal life.