Tom's wife wrote: I'm sorry, it just never ends, does it? I don't want to bore you, but my husband's brother (45 years old) came out of drug rehab and decided he would try to live with us. This was against my better judgement because I was not convinced he really wanted to be clean and figured our house may be a place to get away with more of the same.
Anyway, he lasted two weeks, and when my husband and I told him that he had to participate in some type of program in order to stay - he freaked out. complained to his family that I kicked him out -- another brother just kept telling us to ask him to pee in a cup and have him drug tested. his mother said, just go to meetings with him.
with everything I do for my diabetic husband (which they just don't fully comprehend) I just can't take on the intense care needed for another adult man - who may or may not want to really be helping himself.
I'm feeling ok my decisions but the last 3 weeks have been really hard. Now I'm going away for a week of business and it will be a difficult week of long days of meetings, but I'll glad to be along in that hotel room every nite with no one to take care of but me!
thinking of you
My mom is pretty funny with some of her quotes. One she likes to use is "everyone puts their pants on the same way - one leg at a time". The other is "you can only do one thing at a time".
And while I often try to do more than one thing at a time (type on the computer and talk on the phone is a good example) I usually make a mistake either talking or typing when I try that!
Tom's wife - you really can't be expected to do more than be there for Tom. You certainly can't allow anyone to guilt you into taking care of anyone else. I was going to say "right now"......but I think I will change that to "ever". I think once I am done caring or my husband...I will have nothing left to give to anyone else.
And I agree with you totally. No one really understands how much goes into taking care of someone who has diabetes. It's almost endless. Or should I say it's constant? Even when you are gone traveling on business - you don't stop caring, calling, checking in, making sure all is well, etc. But I also know the true rest that can come while completely alone in a hotel room. Almost worth $100 to get away one night a week!
While my hubby doesn't travel much any more, he is going to travel next week and suddenly, I am looking forward to a week here alone.
Hang in there. You made a good choice in refusing to care for his brother. One at a time is more than enough!