Sunday, July 06, 2008

I'm so sick....

Not sure, but it feels like the pneumonia is back. Sigh. So we came home early and I was just sitting on the sofa, resting, had the heating pad on. Had been resting for a couple of hours and picked up my laptop, and started answering emails. He came downstairs and wanted to know if I wanted to go to Burger King or McDonald's with him to get something. I said, "let me finish this email first" and kept typing. He paces the kitchen and says again, "are you ready"? I said, "no, just let me finish". He got mad and walked out the door. Got himself dinner. Nothing for me.

I find it so amazing - I'm sick and he can't wait 2 minutes (ok, it had probably been less than that) for me to finish and email, close the top of my laptop and get untangled from my cords. And in all seriousness, I had finished the email, put my hand up to close the laptop when he walked out the door. I just sat there in shock. That was 4 hours ago. He hasn't said a word to me since. He came home and went upstairs to the bedroom. And I don't even feel well enough to care. I fixed a cheese sandwich half an hour ago.

He's off again tomorrow. I may have to go shopping all day long. I keep saying that I love him and I'm going to stay. Tonight I wonder why? What on earth is wrong with me that I put up with this? I'm the one who is sick, trying to divert pneumonia again. Problem is, I'm too sick to care, just wanted to write this note to myself.


Anonymous said...

Those moods must be so hard on you!!! You don't deserve that!

Ms. B said...

Hi DW,
Hope you get to feeling better soon. It made me sad to read your recent post. My non-compliant dh treats me the same way plus is sometimes verbally abusive along with the emotional abuse. I have been reading about verbal abuse at site and my eyes and mind are being opened as to ways to survive. I think I am at the self-preservation stage because I am ready to walk out after 20 years of marriage. Take care of yourself.