Saturday, April 28, 2007

It's NOT my job!!!!

Someone posted the following in response to one of my comments:

"If you thought he was low, why didn't you ask him to test and have him eat something sugary?"

and it got my dander up just a tad!

Why on earth does anyone out there think it's the spouse's job to do this?????

OK....if the diabetic individual was doing everything in their power to take care of themselves, i.e., eating healthy, testing, drinking fluids, keeping meds on schedule, exercising, getting therapy.....then I could see perhaps doing this to help them.

But when the patient refuses to do anything to help themselves.....why on earth would you think that the spouse is responsible to help them?

Sorry, I just don't get this one at all.

Sorry, but he has to grow up, get out of his denial, get past his grief, and get on with his life. I cannot do that for him. And I'm not about to put myself into the path of his wrath by suggesting there is any problem with his diabetes! I do need to protect myself.

But seriously. He's not going to take care of himself. Why is it my job to take care of him? Yes, I love him dearly. But he is not 5 or 15 or 25 or 35 or..... he is more than old enough and capable enough to test his own blood, eat healthy, exercise and so on. But since he denies there is a problem......he certainly is not going to do anything to fix something that's not broken.

Sad, isn't it?


Patti said...

I'm sorry, but I agree with Wife of a Diabetic. I am diabetic, on insulin, and I regard it as my responsibility to take care of myself. I do not expect my husband to take care of it for me. Of course he helps me. I will ask him "I feel I ought to test and my kit is down two flights of stairs, would you mind fetching it please?" He fetches it willingly, and finds me something sugary at the same time... sparing me going downstairs (or upstairs) and expending more energy when I'm already low. But, at the end of the day it's my disease, my health and my future that I have to protect. Partially because I want a healthy complication free life and partially because I love my husband and I know he loves me and would not want to lose me. Yes, diabetes can be hard, but only if you let it! There's much more to life.... well, now I am off for a 7 mile walk in the sunshine by the edge of the sea.... and I shall ensure I have my test kit and my ever present "rescue kit" with me

Take care of yourself "Wife"

Diabeteswife said...

Patti, I just want to commend you on your fabulously healthy attitude about this disease!!! SEVEN mile walk! are my new hero! I so wish my hubby would walk! We just got back from a trip to the SAS shoe factory outlet. His feet are so swollen, he needed a 10WWW. He waned to go 4W, but they don't make them that wide. I felt so bad for him. He could not even walk from the car to the store and back.

But.....he did mention applying for a handicapped parking sticker. Hmmm.....I will think on that one. Yes, he needs it, but it is enabling him to continue on his trek to self destruction.

Anonymous said...

Thanks to everyone for sharing your comments. My hubby has been on pills for 12 yrs, ever increasing doses, and now is on insulin. He does NOTHING to take care of himself. He doesn't test. He doesn't take the meds correctly. He doesn't exercise. The other day in Burger King, he ordered a sugery iced coffee drink and a double bacon cheese bacon burger. I let go, yelling "You are kidding! If you eat that, you will die!" right there in the resturant. Yeah, he ate it anyway, and got the fries for spite. It's so good to know I'm not the only one going through this.