Sunday, December 16, 2012

Agreeing to agree

He is home and things are going ok.  Medically:  horrible digestive problems.  Not sleeping.  Terrible back, hip pain.  Glucose a little high, but better than it has been.  40 units of humulin ru 500 each am and pm.  That's a ton of insulin going in.

We are heading back to his dads this weekend as his brother will be flying home.  I will stay 3 weeks then drive home.  He will stay 3 months, then home a month, then back for 3 months.  Then we will reevaluate.  We have agreed to get a legal separation and he is going to quit claim deed the house to me.   Probably the best of all worlds for now.  I see a difference in him.  He now has to look after his dad and it is wearing on him.  Yes, I could stay with him, but he actually wants me here as he's not comfortable leaving our home unoccupied for an extended period of time.  I also think he does not want me to have the stress of being there when I want to be here with my family.

It is interesting as I see my family moving forward thru our grief process over mom ....and his family is not.  They still talk as though his mom is coming home tomorrow.  His dad was here for 2 days...to meet his gr grandchildren.  I agree with my hubby that if they moved his dad right now, it would kill him.  So we are agreeing to agree to this arrangement for the next 6 months, then we will reevaluate it.  Hubby does not want to stay at his dads, but for now, it's what he thinks is best.  I'm letting him call the shots as I do not want to be blamed for anything that goes wrong.  And I think a legal separation may be a soft way to proceed with a divorce.  I'm not saying that we won't live together in the future, but for now, this is what we both agreed will work best.

And this may just be the whack on the side of the head that hubby needs to wake him up.  He is still extremely upset at how fast his mom died and with absolutely no warning.  I guess he thought that really didn't happen??  I am praying that he realizes what this would do to those who love and care about him if he drops dead from a heart attack.

Needless to say, it will be an interesting few months and I am planning to use my time to rest and gear up for whatever the next phase of my life might bring!!  I will continue to post updates to his medical condition from time to time.

DW

1 comment:

tomswife said...

DW - I don't know whether to be relieved for you or sad in your behalf. after all you have been through....

Mostly I want you to be happy
whatever that turns out to be...

you have my support...