Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Life on the Titanic, when do you step onto the raft?

Now, I think that's a really good question as I continue to blog our life.  Yesterday, I had a biopsy done on my right breast due to what showed up on the ultrasound.  There is a spot bottom center.  But when I got into the unit and all set up, the doctor saw additional spots top center.  So she biopsied 3 spots.

I have this huge needle phobia.  HUGE!

She used 2 needles to numb the lower portion, then FOUR huge gigantic enormous needles to do biopsies!  Then, 2 more needles to numb the upper portion, and THREE huge, gigantic, enormous needles to do 3 more biopsies on top.

ELEVEN needles!!!  I am amazed I am alive - only due to the most amazing nurse who kept me engaged in stupid gibberish the entire time.  She was such a hoot I had to hug her goodbye.  She told hubby I needed jewelry!  LOL!

But the moment I started walking, I started getting nauseated.  Beyond belief sick to my stomach.  Hubby brought me straight home and I started on tylenol.  They had wrapped me so tight, I could hardly breathe. After 4 hours, I took the binding off and I've been ok since then.  But I'm not supposed to lift anything for 24 hours.

Hubby did a good job of taking care of what I needed last night.  But he woke up this morning with an optical migraine.  So who takes care of me until my 24 hours are up?

Maybe that's the whole problem of taking care of someone with diabetes.  There is no one to take care of you when you really need it.

He was supposed to go to urology this morning and he cancelled that appt.

I got up and walked 2 miles (the nurse said I could do that), managed to drag the trash barrels to the curb (they weren't that full this week since he's been gone), finished 2 loads of laundry and folded it (he can get the basket upstairs) and I'm probably done for the day....but it's more than he will do.  LOL!!!

So questions for myself - he complains that his mother cancels all of her medical appointments for one reason or another.  How is he any different?  He said that he and his brother tried to engage her in conversations.  When I brought him home from the airport Monday night, I tried over and over to engage him in conversations.  If I didn't ask a question, he just sat there.  Never started a conversation once.  How is that any different?

And I can see how it is having an impact on me.  Whether or not this is cancer, things HAVE to change.

We should have some results this afternoon, or in the morning at the latest.  Grateful that I don't have to wait longer than that.   I can guarantee you if this is cancer - he is going to be too "sick" to take care of me.  He can't last 24 hours during the testing could he make it through anything else?  His Titanic is sinking and I need to get my raft built fast!!!


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