Friday, May 20, 2011

There are worse things...

Well, seriously, at this very hard drive crashed while on vacation. So I'm trying to install everything on a new drive. My biggest problem?? Finding the software.

He says, " you can't use that, it's my copy.". So I spend an entire day going through everything I can think find HIS copy in HIS closet. The one I started out with this morning was mine. Yes, they are now labeled and I will put all my software in a locked box. But I swear this happens almost daily around here. And rather than have him explode...I simply go on a wild goose chase.

This man never puts anything away. I refuse to touch his office, closet, basement or garage. I just close the doors when company comes.

But in the search today, I came across the 2008 taxes in a drawer with old software manuals....what the heck??? LOL!!! Needless to say I'm now also hunting down all the past taxes and will set up files for all of them. Sigh!

So while software is loading on my laptop, I'm posting from my iPad. I can't copy and paste, but a new reader joined. She said that she loves him and hates him and feels guilty about that. Heck....I go thru those exact feelings multiple times an hour!! I think it's a normal part of our survival process. I constantly remember the guy I fell in love with and married. I grieve the loss of that guy. Anger is part of the grief process which is a normal process. So, no, don't feel bad about having those feelings at all. We all do.

As for depression, I think it is a side effect of this disease. More often than not a diabetic will be depressed as they go through their own grief process with each loss of bodily functions. It is a daily struggle to live with someone who is depressed. Counseling helps. But I have learned that setting goals for myself, having my own interests, friends of my own, time away...helps more than anything else.

I would never give my husband his shots. I have a serious needle phobia and he knows it. But while I know I could administer the shots if I absolutely had to....I'm using this to my advantage. On the other hand, I will not stay home just in case he might need me, want me, be afraid to be alone....I am my own person and this is his disease...not mine!!! I think it's perfectly ok to make them do things for themselves and to make them be alone and do things on their own. If my husband ever decides to quit taking his insulin, he knows that my next call will be to hospice. Maybe that's why he's gotten so much better about taking his meds! LOL!

Ok, back to building a new system. Something worse than diabetes for the moment!!!

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