Sunday, April 17, 2011

Welcome Sar!

Sar has joined the blogging circle, I've added her blog to the links over on the right.

Here's what she wrote:

I am also married to a noncompliant diabetic who has the complication of gastroparesis. He has constant stomach problems and needs multiple medications and care diet which he refuses to comply with.

he is needle phobic and refuses to inject himself. i am trapped having to be with him to inject hima and get no help or understanding from the medical establishment.

He rages and is depressed and has terrible anxiety. he can not or will not work. He has not worked for 10 years and I have to do it all.

I have been married to him for almost 40 years.

This sisterhood has saved my sanity. I know that I am not alone.
Thank you and keep on blogging we need you.

I think you may be my hero!  How on earth have you managed 40 years with a needle-phobic non-compliant diabetic????? I know - just one minute at a time, huh?  

I popped over to read your blog. And I have a confession to make.  Two of my other girlfriends and I find great "therapy" when we get together by talking about the "book" we are going to write "one day". The title is going to be "Death by chocolate and other fine things."  One of the gals has a husband who has really severe heart problems and he eats steak and french fries - everything he's not supposed to eat.  The other girlfriend's husband has liver cancer and will not give up beer.  And then there's my hubby who today, ate an entire cinnamon pizza that HE ordered!  So, you see, it's not just diabetics who are non-compliant.  The 3 of us have decided when it gets really bad, we ae going to start feeding them sugar, fried foods and beer and speed up the process.  Now, don't get me wrong.....this is simply a joke that helps each of us get through the moment.  But I swear, I have some moments when I think it's a pretty good idea!
I loved your voodoo economics blog.  Absolutely excellent!  Thank you!  I thought your were writing about me. It's all so utterly, completely true.  Everything you write has or is happening to us. 
My last blog was about marrying for health insurance.  I think the biggest shock of my life was when I sat down and figured out how much hubbys medical bills out of pocket were each month....and I think we have pretty good insurance.  I was astounded. Then I was so pissed off.  All that money for him and like you said, I give up everything. My sister trims my hair.  I do my own nails.  I buy my clothes at thrift stores.  I can't tell you when we got new sheets or towels.  The one thing I will "splurge" on is my shoes.  OK, nothing fancy.  I usually by Merrels or Asic Gels.  But I had a bone spur about 10 years ago and once I got that cleared up, I simply will not let my feet go again.  But I have not bought a new pair of shoes in 2 years.  Sigh.  I just buy new insoles these days.
I hope you will continue to write about your experiences. I think it helps each of us to feel connected, and not so alone.  
I've set up a block over on the right where anyone can click and email me directly.  Of course, it's an anonymous yahoo email that I continue to forget to check.  I will try to do better!

So, aside from downing an entire cinnamon sugar pizza today, he slept over half the day. Said he had nightmares last night in which he was dead.  Interesting.  I wonder what drug is causing all the nightmares - they seem to be increasing.  So he doesn't sleep at night, but sleeps all day.  

I am taking a mini bread now that he can drive. I haven't been to see my mom since December, so I'm off to visit her the next couple of days.  It's only 3 hours away and I will get to visit my youngest sister as well.  Will be a great escape from all this!



sar said...

Thank you for the welcome and the moral support. I have been in this for almost 40 years. The first thirty were good and then they got progressively worse.

The gastroparesis has been the last 2 years. That and the need for insulin have brought us to where we are. The insulin was a year ago last March.

He has a thorasic complications of the gastroparesis which makes him cough and leaves him hoarse. He wheezes. I listen to this all day.

This morning I get to visit my mother briefly leaving him. She is also in bad shape after a broken hip a couple of years ago. She is in residential care. Imagine looking forward to this visit as a respite.

Lilly said...

Love your idea about the "book;" very funny. At least you and your friends can find the humor and laugh about all the craziness! I too am "threatening" to write a book, but am always saying that no one would believe it . . . although I think you all would!

ENJOY your break. You have more than earned one. Enjoy spending time with your mom and sister.

As for your musings about marrying for health insurance, I am SURE that it happens. My hubby has health insurance from being in the military, and also full VA benefits, which helps us tremendously, so we are very lucky on that score. If he didn't, things would be very tight indeed. When we got married, I opted to stay on mine just in case things got complicated, and that seems to be working for now. It is good that your hubby will have the option to go on yours, but as you said, the expense thing is very scary when you are cutting so many corners already, and also thinking about moving.

Hang in there and take care,