4 am this morning, he wakes up and goes to the bathroom. I asked him if he should test his glucose. He said he was out of strips?
OK, I know it was a ploy to not have to test. So I got mad and told him that I just really didn't care....but I will NOT go to the hospital with him next time and I will NOT drive him to dialysis.
So you all have to enforce that because we all know it's going to happen!
I got up and went to my own bed upstairs. A week on the sofa is more than my old back can handle! Got up at 6 am and came down and collected all my stuf and moved it and the puppy crate back upstairs. He is going to be on his own at night from here on out.
Here's my logic. He's now recovered enough to argue with me. He doesn't want to test his sugar. I know he is not going to follow the rules. I know he is going to revert back to exactly what he was doing before. So, why did I fight so hard to keep him on the right meds in the hospital? Why didn't I just let all that medical staff continue to make all their mistakes? Dose him at 10% his inuslin, double his beta blockers? I really do not know.
But I won't do it again. He has had his chance and I know where we are headed with this. He's going to refuse to test, refuse to eat right, refuse to eat on a schedule, refuse to exercise. He won't heal right. His back will hurt. He just wants to lay in bed and watch TV and movies 24/7. I'm not going down that hole with him!
Today, I finally went to a genealogy meeting and was gone for 6 hours. Had my sister go home this morning. Left him completely alone. Well, he had his cell phone. He was fine when I got home. So tomorrow I'll meet my art pals for lunch. And be gone again.
And really. If he goes back into the hospital, I truly plan to limit my visits to 2 hours per day.
I know....I talk big, huh? LOL!!!
Starting tomorrow, he is going to talk to all the nurses who call. He can figure out what he is supposed to be doing. I'm turning it all back over to him. Yes, I'm here if he needs help, but this IS his disease and if he's not going to follow the rules, I'm not going to break my back or my spirit trying to force him to do so. After all, he is a grown man.
AMEN SISTER...YOU CAN'T DO IT ALONE and HE HAS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY and SHOW THE WILL to fight...That is why I gave up filling my hubby's pills and calling them in several years ago because I thought gosh darn it...if I had to take that many pills I would have to fill them myself and call them in...he HAS to own his condition and that helped us...but who knows in the future, since he was ruled 100% disabled by the VA but he IS fighting for his health, getting to a gym and doing what he can to feel better...your hubby HAS to do the right things...you CAN NOT do it all...you go GIRL...teach art...do art...care, but don't lose your soul in the process. HUGS AND LOVE
so lynn, I'm taking your advice and working to make him responsible for whatever happens to him. I've been by his side 24/7 for the last 4 weeks.....it's time for me to get back to my life now!