Nesting

They say that pregnant women "nest" right before they deliver. I remember doing that. Cleaning up a storm, getting our "nest" ready for the new little birdie.

I realized this week that I'm "nesting". I'm cleaning, sorting, and organizing, getting ready for his surgery and 8 months of recovery. Funny - I didn't know that's what I was doing - but it hit me like a lightening bold. Little things. I put a bench inside the front door, so he can sit and rest. I put a wheeled student type chair right inside his office door. I put another one in the bathroom. Today, I hung shelves in the utility room and brought the tool we use the most in from the garage and put them on the shelves.

I think I'm getting ready for limited mobility in the next 8 months. And while I don't have any way of knowing what it will be like, I think somehow, instinctively, I was getting ready. Now that it hit me what I'm doing - it's sort of funny.

He is really apprehensive about the operations. So we have been talking a lot. His cortisone has worn completley off and he is pretty much in pain full time. I really hope this works. I understand that if it doesn't, the only solution is another surgery.

I also noticed that I am retreating into my protective shell. turning down invitiations. Not inviting people over. Not going to meetings. My way of coping? So I invited another couple to dinner and movies this weekend. I agreed to go to a meeting with a group I belong to. Going to try to accept more invitations. Sometimes, I think I'm just not able to deal with everything and I start to shut down, then something wakes me up and I'm just fine.

Tomorrow we visit his cardiologist. He gets and EKG and an echocardiogram. Sure hope they come back ok!

DW