Monday, February 15, 2010

still 9.2

Neil wrote: I have read your long letter, and I can truly say this is very sad for you and me. You see, as a type 1 diabetic, I once thought I could make a difference in this world. I made myself an expert on the disease, and considered my disease a blessing because I had the opportunity to study the human metabolism first hand. I could compare animal studies and my own cause and effect. I tried and tried to help diabetics. I most received verbal stones like it is your way or the highway. Or everyone is different. It works for you but ..... I finally told my wife, despite I became an expert, not even the doctors want to listen to me. I never see a doctor myself because I have no reason to see a doctor. I just inject insulin every two hours 24-7 and limit red meat and carbs that rush into the system. I exercise a great deal, but that is easy for me. You see, I have always been an athlete.

I now conclude that I have a unique set of genetics. Not aht my diabetes is so different, but because genetics has instilled on me a powerful, will, determination, committment and perserverance to live not just healthy, but healthier than any one else, even non diabetics. I have pretty much accomplished my personal goals. But I have failed horribly to bring other diabetics down my path. After being diabetic for 40 years, I would think some one would believe me just by looking at my results. I have been studying the difference between listening and hearing. If my listening is correct, most want some one else to fix their health. I cried when my niece died from diabetes, and I am greatly saddened for you, your husband and ll those who I tried to help but will not believe a word.

Too many diabetics live a lie. Yes it does take a committment, but it is doable. I have made myself an example to my children and I have now agreed with my family, my efforts are pointless and futile. No one will ever believe a word I say. I feel like an island in a world when diabetics could live in perfect health, but they too often do not.

I love my childrem, I love my wife and I love life. I must now go forward and realize I can not do anything for anyone. I just do not have the leadership skills.

Neil, I'm not sure what to say except that I agree. My husband doen't "think" he can get "well", so he doesn't even want to try. I have to tell you thought, he is testing 3 times a day. The nurse from endo is making him! She emails and wants him to download his results. His new little tester won't lie. So that is a change for the good. They gave him a new tester, renewed his 2001 Rx for test strips (can you believe it had not been renewed since then?) and have him testing.

His latest A1c is still 9.2. NOT good. Today, he went to a deli for lunch and instead of picking a whole grain bun, he picked white bread. Not low glycemic. Sigh. I don't know what to do with the guy. He knows his sugar is still high, yet he still makes bad choices when eating The deli was good because they did offer whole grain buns. He just picked what he was hungry for at the moment. I have to "give up" to keep from going nuts! LOL!!!

The echo results are good. No indication of a major heart attack. But the are still planning the cath for Monday. In the meantime, I'm filled up the calendar this week with activities so I don't think about all the "what-ifs".


No comments: