He seems to still be fighting depression and I'm still trying to keep him in good spirits. Full time job.
DW
Friday, February 12, 2010
echo
He had it done this morning. They let me go in and watch. Totally amazing. To see the heart in 3D. I did recognize the chambers and valves, but did not now enough to determine if there was blockage or not. So now we wait for the results. He said it was pretty painless. He probably would have fallen asleep if she hadn't kept telling him to breath, hold release.
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I have read your long letter, and I can truly say this is very sad for you and me. You see, as a type 1 diabetic, I once thought I could make a difference in this world. I made myself an expert on the disease, and considered my disease a blessing because I had the opportunity to study the human metabolism first hand. I could compare animal studies and my own cause and effect. I tried and tried to help diabetics. I most received verbal stones like it is your way or the highway. Or everyone is different. It works for you but ..... I finally told my wife, despite I became an expert, not even the doctors want to listen to me. I never see a doctor myself because I have no reason to see a doctor. I just inject insulin every two hours 24-7 and limit red meat and carbs that rush into the system. I exercise a great deal, but that is easy for me. You see, I have always been an athlete.
I now conclude that I have a unique set of genetics. Not aht my diabetes is so different, but because genetics has instilled on me a powerful, will, determination, committment and perserverance to live not just healthy, but healthier than any one else, even non diabetics. I have pretty much accomplished my personal goals. But I have failed horribly to bring other diabetics down my path. After being diabetic for 40 years, I would think some one would believe me just by looking at my results. I have been studying the difference between listening and hearing. If my listening is correct, most want some one else to fix their health. I cried when my niece died from diabetes, and I am greatly saddened for you, your husband and ll those who I tried to help but will not believe a word.
Too many diabetics live a lie. Yes it does take a committment, but it is doable. I have made myself an example to my children and I have now agreed with my family, my efforts are pointless and futile. No one will ever believe a word I say. I feel like an island in a world when diabetics could live in perfect health, but they too often do not.
I love my childrem, I love my wife and I love life. I must now go forward and realize I can not do anything for anyone. I just do not have the leadership skills.
Neil glenwood50@oath.com
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