Sunday, June 14, 2009

So much for promises.

He STILL has NOT been to see his doctor about his heart. Sigh. I need to give up. He is not going to go. He even commented the other day that all it was was a burning sensation like heartburn!

How soon he has forgotten just how scared he was, that he could barely breathe, that he could not function, that the pain was seering in his chest......

And then his grandmother died this past weekend. He is leaving tomorrow to drive 1000 miles to be with his parents. I am not going because I have business commitments here that prevent me from going.

He has no business going. Especially since he has not been to see his doctor. Every single visit to his parents results in multiple layers of drama and he certainly does not need that right now.

Nothing I can do.

My sister was here this weekend. She commented that he looks horrible and has gained so much weight. I know. And it doesn't help to have what you already know confirmed by someone who hasn't seen him in months.

Good question a reader asked the good days still outweigh the bad? Should I stay or should I leave? I just don't know.


Anonymous said...

I feel your pain. Tom's Wife

Anonymous said...

This post made me a sad WOD. I am a hopeful person but it made me see that I too am in denial about the suffering we are all subject too when an angry, out-of-control diabetic person is at the center of the drama (and needs to be). I keep telling myself that he is not really like this - it is the disease that makes him this way, but after a while...what's the difference? Your thoughts and actions come to define you. I am now finding that I have to develop a shell and become and uncaring to cope. And that makes me hard on my children and myself. So here we are. If I am to apply the same idea, well them I have become just as difficult to live with as a result. Sad and incompetent is how I feel. Thank you for sharing your experience. It does help.