I've been gone for 10 days and you'd think I'd left a 10 year old home alone! EVERYTHING is a mess! And he didn't do any of the things he said he would do. ATV is still sitting on the trailer in the drive and our HOA has a 3 day limit. Well, so much for that rule! LOL! Kitchen counters are a complete filthy mess. I smell dog pee in his room. Thank goodness that's the only place I smell it and I just closed the door today. I need to finish moving the rest of my stuff to the other bedroom so there's no reason for me to enter his stinky domain!
It's so sad that all I can do is laugh. I've been up for 3 hours cleaning the main level, laundry is going, trash is out. He said that 2 days ago he was sick with vomiting and diahrrea. So I asked him what he ate. He said he scrambled some eggs. I looked at the expiration date on them - July 18. I can't believe that he can't even read the date and then it hit me - I wonder if he can SEE the date to read it???? I guess next time I leave I will toss out anything that will expire while I am gone. How sad is that?
And of course, he dumped a soda (not empty) into the trash in the office and when I dumped that into the big bag to go out, the soda went all over the floor and I had to mop it up. I swear, I spin my wheels just cleaning up after the man.
No wonder I enjoy my travels so much. I'm a guest instructor and get treated like a "queen" - I don't have to even think about him, no one to run errands for or clean up after - it's actually pretty nice. But then again, that's what caregiver respite is all about. Getting away, getting a break, resting, enjoying a moment of life.
I've agreed to do this all again, for 2 weeks, so it won't be long and I'll be on the road again. In the meantime, I don't have the time to worry about him or deal with him as I have to be making up class samples and then making class kits for the next round of classes.
And I even came home with surplus spending money (I made more than I spent!) So it was a good break and I suppose I will just put a smile on my face and continue on with life.
But no wonder so many spouses and partners of diabetics just walk out on them. No wonder his first wife left while he was gone. I truly do understand and would never fault anyone for leaving. For now, I will continue to stay, just increase the frequency of my trips away. I think it will work. I just need to get past the frustration of the mess I face when I come home.
And then I have to ask myself - can he even see the mess? Does he know what a trail he leaves behind? Can he smell the puppy pee? I don't really want to know the answer, for now, I'll just ponder the quesiton. But if diabetes kills the nerve endings in the fingers and toes, I'll bet money it kills the nerve endings in the nose just as much.
Well no wonder he can't hear me half the time - the nerve endings in his ears are gone!!! LOLOL!
OK, ya gotta laugh - else you will cry.
DW
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1 comment:
Thank you so much for what you do and write. My dad did nothing for his diabetes until it was too late. I had to deal with him as a child/adult and now I deal with my husband who has had type 2 for 4 years. My Dad recently past away, and now I face what you do in my own husband even more. Reading your blog has helped me to see that I am not the only one who had trouble dealing/ being a caregiver. It has even made me smile! Keep it up!
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