Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Creatinine level is 2.4

He looked it up online today and shared that with me at breakfast. So I simply started asking questions. What do you think that means? Do you think this is why your feet are so bad? Do you think they might delay the surgery? Do you think changing your insulin shots has any baring on this?

Normal conversation going on at breakfast. He said he was tired of taking 3 shots a day and was only going to take 2. So I quietly asked him why was he taking them at 6 am and 10 pm, not 6 am and 6 pm like he used to do and he said because it's what was easy to do.

Now, I know I was pushing and I still don't for one second think this is what his doctor has ordered him to do, but he claimed it was, so I said, "I sure wish I could just quit taking my pills because I think that's what would be easiest for me!" (He knows that I have a severe gag reaction and will often vomit just from taking a few vitamins.) And he says, "You have done that." And I said, "Only after discussing it with my doctor and getting their approval." And he said, "this is a STUPID argument...just drop it!"

Well, I did not think it was an argument at all.....but more confirmation that his doctors do not know he has changed his insulin. Because there's no other reason this suddenly became a "stupid argument" except I he knows he is not telling me the truth. It just makes no sense to me that they would make a change when all was going so smoothly....and here we are back to our daily arguments, confrontations, heated discussions.

And yes, I still chant in my brain "I have 2 choices....stay or leave". Well, today, I'm thinking more and more than I'll be packing my bags and moving on in a few weeks/months because I just am not going to put up with this change in his behaviour.

So anyway.....we got back after breakfast and I've been doing some research and found some interesting websites that I rather like.

This one talked about creatinine levels and using a GFR calculator:


This one provides a GFR calculator:


So here's where my hubby is:

Stage 4: Severe reduction in GFR (15 to 29). Continue following the treatment for complications of CKD and learn as much as you can about the treatments for kidney failure. Each treatment requires preparation. If you choose hemodialysis, you will need to have a procedure to make a vein in your arm larger and stronger for repeated needle insertions. For peritoneal dialysis, you will need to have a catheter placed in your abdomen. Or you may want to ask family or friends to consider donating a kidney for transplantation.

I don't think his health care will do anything until he gets a GFR of 15.

He did call his doctor's office when we got back here and they ordered new labs for him. Of course, I spent 2 hours on the phone making arrangements to have them done where we are since we are not at home and insurance has to be pre-notified for out-of-area services. (I'm totally thinking we are not going to move because it is just going to be more work that it's worth!!!)

Don't tell me this disease doesn't impact the spouse! That's TWO hours out of my life taking care of the administrative end of this for him. No, he couldn't do it, he's working "on the clock" today and doesn't have time to make all those calls.

We will go get the labs done this afternoon and then I think he should have the results by Thursday. Well, there is a chance the reading is a fluke, but I'm thinking with all the other symptoms/changes we have gone through lately, there is something major going on in his body at this time.


an interesting website stating that at stage 4, 45.7% will die within 5 years. 19.9% will be on RRT within 5 years. With an even higher chance of death from heart related problems.

And did I remember to note that he did NOT bring his glucose meter with him on this trip? We are gone for 10 days and no ability to test his blood sugars. I just think this is even more indication that he remains in denial as to how serious his kidney disease is.


Jean said...

I was remembering something I'd read about insulin and kidney disease, so I went to the National Kidney Foundation website and found this statement: "You may find you need less insulin. This is because diseased kidneys cause less breakdown of insulin."

Do you think his doctor reduced his insulin because previous labs showed a decline in kidney function, and he suspected this was a possible reason for his lows? With or without the doctor's involvement, it may explain why he seems to be having more lows. Or at least suspected lows because who knows without testing!

My husband actually bragged to someone this evening that he hasn't tested in over eight months. He did this while he was eating a huge rootbeer float (no sugar-free soda or ice cream involved) accompanied by cake. This was a chaser to deep dish pizza, with full-sugar soda as a beverage. Shortly thereafter he had his typical bit of hyperglycemic bad temper and now he is crashed in a recliner.

Still, my day sounds a lot easier than yours. Not the vacation I would have planned for you! Good gracious, you have been through it all on this trip.

Anonymous said...

Oh wife... I've been a faithful reader/lurker for months now and it just breaks my heart to hear what you go through. You are a strong person to stay with this man!

I am diabetic (well controlled on an insulin pump - testing 12-18 times a day) but my Dad is a bit like your husband. He is not diabetic but has a host of other health issues that he also will not face/accept. Not even a fraction as bad as your husband but it does give me a bit of insight into your situation...

There are days that I hate testing, or doing shots (thank god I got a pump!) and I'd love to take a vacation from diabetes but I can't imagine the horror of what you go through. Seeing a man you love, not want to test, or take care of himself, when he is obviously so sick must be tearing you apart!

I wish I had the words to tell you how bad I feel for your situation, or how much I understand how hard your decision must be.

I'm sure most of your readers feel, as I do, like smacking some sense into that husband of yours. I know firsthand how hard it is to watch someone self destruct and want to help them, knowing full well that they have to want to help themselves. Arrrrgggghhhh!

I wish you all the best, and if you ever feel the need to speak with a diabetic that takes proper care, (and never leaves her testing kit behind, hee hee) please feel free to email me.


Diabeteswife said...

KB. Thank you for understanding. Just having the ability to write down my thoughts is helping. Re-reading what I write helps me as I travel this journey. Comments like yours and others help me realize I am not totally alone. When I started this a year ago...I really felt like no one else could possibly understand this path. Now I know differently.


DW - and yes, I'd like to smack him, too!!!

Kim said...

I came across your blog here today and as I began reading it,I thought I was reading about my life with my diabetic husband. I so understand what you are going thru and am going thru so much of the same stuff with my husband.We have two daughters,a grandchild on the way.My husband is 47 and was diagnosed in 1992 with diabetes.Since that time,I have learned all I could about diabetes,cooked his meals,etc only to see him sneak candy bars that he had stopped and bought on the way home from work..Today,his diabetes is so bad that he is no longer able to work.He is disabled.I have been taking care of him for years.I am so ready for someone to ask me about my needs.Instead I am making sure he has strips to test his blood sugars.He will run out of his strips and not tell me and go days with out checking his sugars.He forgets to take his insulin,will sleep all day long and not take it..I could go on and on about the things he does.It is a miracle he is alive.He lost the best diabetic dr in our area ,because he would not do what the dr. told him he must do to live.
Anyway,I do understand what you are going thru..Wish I could offer more encouragment..Hang in there..

Anonymous said...

I was just diagnosed with diabetic peripheal neuropathy and when I told my husband he liked to have a fit. "Oh another pill?!" which really hurt my feelings..Its like ok no pills I hurt more or cannot function or even walk without hurting..so what is everyone's advice on how to handle his rude comments??

Anonymous said...

I've been diabetic since 1955 and am currently on a pump. I can't brag about taking such good care of myself, but I have been lucky and do not have the serious complications that occur - partly due to genetics.

It isn't easy to watch someone you love die, but that seems to be what is going to happen. Being diabetic is not that bad and I don't understand why some people like to deny that they have such a serious disease. It is a pain and a bother, but most of us are fun to be around and have fun ourselves.

Low blood sugars often result in depression - perhaps that is some of the problem. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

this might be of interest...