Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Home a week and the infection is back.

I swear, we are going to hop a plane and get him to a lower altitude and see if it heals up again. I cannot believe this. His feet were so healthy looking. Then today he said they were killing him. Tonight he had me look at them and yep, once again, he has a horrible sore on the side of his toe, open wound, oozing out stuff all over the place. But this time, the red infection is just almost the color of fire, it's so bright.

He is feeling quite sick, as though he had the flu. Doesn't want to move. Sad thing is we have overnight guests so he did stay downstairs and chat as long as he could stand the pain. And he kept his socks on!

But the moment he got up to the bedroom....he took the socks off. So, what do you do? I'm sure the fibers from the carpet, the bedding, etc., are not good getting into an open sore. And the thought of the puss oozing into the carpet.....I just want to hire someone to come shampoo on a daily basis. It just cannot be healthy for him, me, the puppies......

And just looking at his open sores totally makes me go queezy. I can barely do it. But I know I have to. Problem is, tonight, I had just taken all my vitamins and minerals. Now, I always have to down them with crackers as they make me a bit nauseated. But then to have him ask me to look at his feet....and me not expecting to see an open wound after a week of healthy feet....

How on earth can it go from being so normal looking to being so infected so quickly? Now that's beyond me.

I'm just more and more convinced that it has something to do with altitude. But it's going to be at least 3 weeks before we could possibly fly to sea level. We do have some frequent flier miles, so we can go last minute. I think we should go ahead and book the trip now, but he wants to wait and see if his feet heal up on their own.

In the's oozing out on my cream colored carpet......

Oh, and yes, he refuses to put bandaids on anything. they make him itch. I'm sure it's the damage to nerve endings of some such thing....but to walk around with open sores that are infected.....

And I should make note that since he got back from his overseas trip, he has not worn the CPAP. We are back to nights of flopping legs. He said that he needs to take it in and get it calirated as he can't breath with it on. Hmmm....he's been home a week...what is the hold up?

oiy vey!



CICI said...

Thank you for writing about your experiences, for the last few years I have felt that I am alone in this battle to help my husband get well and have now realized that it is not my responsibility to do this. I have read most of your blog and I know that if my husband doesn't change he will end up alot like your husband. It is sad and it does effect our relationship but I love him and so I am writing a contract to him and see what happens, I will not pick up his medications, I will not go to the doctor with him, I will not make dr appts anymore and I will not nag him about his medications. This will be hard for me as I do take care of everyone but I will not fall into this again as the dr has just upped his medications and added more. i didn't sleep for 2 days and I didn't even want him around because i just kept thinking that he must not love me if he doesn't take care of himself but I now realize that as long as I was doing all the work he didn't have to think about his disease, so now he can think about it and I am taking a holiday from it.
So thank you

Jean said...


I can so relate to your feelings when you shared, "i just kept thinking that he must not love me if he doesn't take care of himself." I took my husband's noncompliance as a personal rejection -- as though he was saying through his actions that I wasn't enough to live for.

It took a long time to realize that when someone is deep in denial about their disease, no thing and no person is "enough" to motivate them to change. Change, if it comes at all and is to be sustained, must come from within.

Congratulations on reaching a point where you realize the difference between being supportive and being laden down with a burden that is not yours to carry.

This is not an easy journey, but you are not alone!