Thursday, February 08, 2007

And he says, "Look, my feet are better"......

and I'm thinking "your eyesight is getting worse!" But I didn't say it! LOLOL!

I swear, I do not see any improvement in his feet at all....but perhaps they are feeling better, so I'm going to take this as a positive note in our battle to hang onto all 10 toes! I see him hobble and am not so sure there is any improvement. But life goes on. And I am really pushing him to be a bit more active, to do things, to get out and about.

We made it to LA and San Diego and back in the past few weeks and that is great. I know there were moments when he wanted to give up, but he was a real trooper, helping me out with my projects and work. Travel is always so hard as it's nearly impossible to eat right. I give him credit for really trying to stick to a low purine diet. I just need to convince him that a serving is closer to 3 ounces than 10 ounces! LOLOL! And I need to convince him that when it says 4 servings per week....that doesn't mean you can change the day you "start" your week on whenever you want!

My, he can be funny and taxing at the same time!

I am moving forward with my life. Painting the walls in our house once again. Trying to bring in some color, make things a bit brighter. I've started with the "exercise" room which used to be a guest bedroom. Painted the walls eggplant and peri. OK...shades of purple which is his favorite color. the hopes that he will go into the room more often! I have a TV on the wall and a treadmill and bicycle. Now...if I can just get him to use them! I'd love to add a bowflex and then the room would be done. Well, I still need to find a suitable lamp....then it will be done.

Next I'm starting in on the dining area. I'm so tired of plain off-white walls and long for color. And painting walls seems to be quite theraputic for me. Sort of like I'm getting the house ready to sell because I know the day is coming when he is going to be in a wheelchair and we can't stay here.

At the same time, I've relocated my space to the basement where I can spread out....and most importantly, I am not at his fingertips. He will have to get up and fetch his own drink of water, his lunch....I've told him I'm going to work from 8 - 5 every day in the basement.....and he is on his own. Maybe he will decide to start going into the office a bit more if I'm not a holler away! :o)

So, life goes on. At least the screaming and yelling seems to be put at bay for the moment. He does not seem to be quite so frustrated. But I know his blood sugar is still totally out of control and I know he is not eating right. And yes, I do think he is committing suicide one day at a time. But it is a bit like living with an alcoholic. I can't help him. No one can. And until he wants to help himself....all I can do is take care of me.

Hope you all are doing better as well.


Sarahew88 said...

Bless you. Keep on doing what you are doing. My 36 year old brother is in horrible shape. I have learned that with and without my help, he is self destructing so to save ME I stay away and pray for the best. Keep up the good work. I will keep checking in on you.

Sarahew88 said...

I am going to keep checking in on you. I applaud you. My 36 yr old bro is severely diabetic and sometimes I think he thinks he will live on sympathy alone. The diabetes is just one more thing for him to earn sympathy from people. I realised that with and without my help he was going to destroy himself. I have posted before but cant see that it "took". So if it did I am sorry about the double posts.