Tuesday, November 10, 2015

What will I do if he goes into a diabetic coma?

He asked me that one day.  He said, you'll dump me in a nursing home!  To which I replied jokingly, "glad we have one just 2 blocks away!"

He did NOT see my humor!  LOLOL!!!

So I sat here and head a bit of a heart to heart with him.  I know his biggest fear is being left alone, being "dumped" somewhere.  But I also know he had never thought it out.

I confessed that if I find him in a coma, I will do everything I can to save him.  I know the "drill".  And I will call 911 which he absolutely, positively, without question does NOT want me to do.

But the more I told him my thoughts, the more he calmed down and came to realize the predicament I would be in.

He weighs about 280 lbs.

In a coma, he would be "dead weight".

Could I even roll him on his side??  I couldn't possibly lift him, get him up off the floor.  If he had slumped over in his chair, could I even get him on the ground?  There is the physical aspect that he had never even considered.

If he did not come out of the coma, how long do I wait to call 911?  And when they arrive even 30 minutes later, how do I explain to them the delay in calling?  And if he never comes out of the coma, how do I explain that delay to his children?  How do I explain that their dad told me to never call 911 and expect them to understand?

No, I will call.

And then from there the discussion went on - what do I do if he has a stroke?  Yes, I will keep him at home as long as I can with as much help as I can get, but there is only so much available.  Again, I cannot lift him to the toilet, I cannot physically roll him over if he cannot assist me - there are so many levels of questions that can't be put into a hypothetical situation.  

But he started to realize that if I put him in a nursing home, it would only be because I cannot physically care for him, not because I don't want to.  It was if lights went off in his head and since that day, he has never again accused me of wanting to "dump" him.

Sometimes talking is good!

I also realize that there was a time in my past that I was simply scared to death to leave him.  Afraid that if I did, I would come home and find him in a coma.  But I have finally realized that was a very unhealthy state that I was in!  If he goes into a coma, it's because he didn't do what he needed to do either through his medications, his diet - the bottom line - it has nothing to do with me.  And when I get home, I will do whatever I need to do at that point to take care of him.  But I cannot just sit here waiting for the "what ifs" to take place!  Maybe that's when I started getting my life back instead of living his life so much of the time!

I think my current question is more tied up with dementia and Alzheimer's.  But that will be another day's discussion!    Hope you have a great day - get out there and do something for yourself today!


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