Sunday, August 31, 2014

Summer's over!

And I'm just getting back to this blog.  I received this comment:

Your blog has helped more than anything else I have read. Just knowing that this can go on for years and years gives me the courage to know that I MUST protect my own life. I still can't help wondering about the future and how I will make it, but at least I won't let it take me down with him. Thank you! I am very curious if after their spouse's passing, anyone out there who has gone through the long years of decline has been successful in forgetting those horrible things and remembering just the wonderful spouse they used to have before Diabetes changed them. Or do the long years of horrible weird dying things just stay in your memory of that person as the main part?

I think it must be like childbirth.  36 years later...I barely remember what happened.  I don't remember the pain even though I know I had 23 hours of it!  Hubby has been with his dad for almost 2 years now and I know I'm glazing over the diabetes issues (until I sit and read what I've written about it!)  I no longer have to deal with it so I just don't think about it.

That being said.  Hubby still calls every day.  He is coming for a couple of weeks in October.  He hasn't been here since January and needs to visit all his doctors to get his meds refilled.  His dad, another non-compliant diabetic, had a sugar crash not too long ago.  Hubby called me in a panic saying he thought his dad was going to die.  The hospice nurse came and informed him it was a sugar crash.  

So think about it....a diabetic really would not know how to recognize the symptoms of a sugar crash because they do not see what happens to them when they are having one.  Interesting, huh?

I waited a couple of days to make sure his dad was ok and then asked hubby if he remembered the sheer panic he had been in.  He did.  So then I asked him if he realized that is exactly what I feel every time he went low.  He said no.  So I think this is a good experience for him as he is getting to feel everything I have been through for the 5 years before he left.  He might understand a little better what others have to deal with when he crashes.  I think he's also getting a good feel for what it's like to care for someone with diabetes.

He still says that he's moving back here when his father passes away.  I still say, "we'll see."  His dad is just now 80 and while he does have hospice care, he could live for a couple more years.  Or he could go tonight.  

In the meantime, I've had a wonderful summer of gardening, growing luscious flowers, creating paths, making hidden gardens.   Have decided it's good to be outside as much as you can!  Went for my physical and my doc said I need to lose weight so I'm down 22 pounds and it feels wonderful.  Going to work on firming up my muscles next but I've been walking 3 miles 4 times a week and loving it.  Have a sister that walks with me so that makes it more enjoyable.   

Think it's going to be a great September!!!


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