Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Putting life into perspective

Mom is getting better.  I'm back to sleeping regularly.  But for the last 3 weeks, every day has been touch and go.  It went by in the blink of an eye.  Spending nights on the floor by her side, sleeping 1 - 2 hours at a time.  I found I entered a complete brain fog and had no idea life was slipping by so fast.  But when it is your mom, when she is in excruciating pain, when she is in forget everything else in the world and try your best to make her as comfortable as possible.

Now that it's over (for right now) and I can focus on getting back to my life, I'm trying to put it all into perspective.

How is it that for 3 weeks he managed everything on his own.  Never had a low.  Never got mad at me.  Never raised his voice.  Is it because I wasn't here?  Is it because he knew my stress level and knew not to raise it?  I don't know.  But something tells me that either consciously or not, he know somehow that there is a tolerance line in me and he stayed under that line the last 3 weeks.

His normal is to get quite ill if anyone else is sick.  But he did not do that.  Maybe all my little talks with him have helped?  Maybe the gentle counseling that now we are living here, we are here to help others - is sinking in?

I learned that his diabetes, heart surgery, back surgery, highs, lows, missed pills......those are his problems.  I can be here to support him, to care for him, to love him.....but I can't fix those problems.

Just as I couldn't fix what was wrong with mom.  I could only provide her with the best care possible and try to keep her as comfortable as possible.

She is much better

And he is much better

So now I rest and refresh myself and try to prepare for whatever is next.

I'm learning that a good, solid night's sleep is worth more than just about anything else!

Digging in the ground may just be the second best thing!  I planted 30 Iris and 30 Lillies tonight.  More Iris to plant in the morning.  They make great background borders!  I have all the paths done in the back yard and next is to start digging the hole for a small pond.  I'm slow.  But I'm making progress!!!


1 comment:

Boop82 said...

Hopefully he will continue to be better while you're helping your mom, and continue through with it. That's a lot to go through.

I wish I had a green thumb. I normally just kill everything around me though. I thought I was doing ok until I put the plants outside on the patio in this hot Texas heat and they've just been shriveling up since then. Oops.