Sunday, April 08, 2012

And another meltdown

And over such minute things. Today was a hard day for him. Neither of his children invited him to be with them for Easter. I try to remind him that their mom has moved back into the area. But he simply says that they don't love him. We started to complete some medical questionnaire and he couldn't remember the street address where he worked. He got pissed when I asked him his hourly rate. He didn't know the number for HR and didn't know where to look to find it. I asked him to print out copies of pay stubs for this yeAr and he argued with me about why they were needed.

I am really tired of his inability to function. I think the final straw was when he could not decide between 2 things for dinner. Seriously???

We go see his cardiologist tomorrow and I think he should let her know about his suicidal thoughts. Oh, he got mad at me because he is on a one month restriction from lactose products.

He sat in his chair and watched TV all day long while I packed box after box and carried them to the garage. I wonder if he is simply shutting down. His depression was way worse today. All of his anger is directed at me. If I survive this, it will be a miracle. I really wondered today if we should just separate. Before we sign this contract.i think I can handle everything except these near daily meltdowns. Is that because of his glucose?

I had to get out of the house this evening, so I drove over to our little neighborhood lake and just sat and watched joggers and kids til it got dark. I called my sis and talked to her. She thinks he needs to be institutionalized. I'm not sure about that.

I know I am under severe stress as my right breast has started to have a discharge. I'm going to schedule a mammogram tomorrow and will go see my doctor when the results come in.

I'm just to tired of everything tonight.



Lilly said...

So sorry that your Easter was such a hard one. When the time comes, will your hubby actually move with you, or will he refuse? If he refuses, I guess you will have your answer about separating. I have also been struggling with that question (again!) lately. There are no easy answers. . . about their depression, about all the physical problems, about whether to stay or leave, or even whether they should be institutionalized or not, as I have had people tell me that about my hubby as well.



Diabeteswife said...

I agree, it is hard. It is a struggle. Almost daily. Hang in there!!!