Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A letter from Tigo

Dear DW

Hello! Thank God I found your blog, you have no idea how I wish I could talk to someone who understands, not only understands but knows exactly how I feel. I have met this amazing handsome guy, he is 34 and I am 28. He is diabetic, diagnosed at the age of 19, applies 4 shots a day.  We have been going out for two months but we already feel very connected. At our age we talk about a future together. At first I was really excited at finding someone so special, but when my dad met him, he told me the consequences of being with a diabetic and how this could be inherited to my kids. It has kept me worried, and crying all the time, I wish I could ignore diabetes, but I can't, firstly, I am worried my kids might get it, and secondly, all of the things posted on your blog are shocking, I am reaaaally into him, but my doubts keep coming and coming....I just wanted to tell you how I feel, my relationship is bitter sweet, and I can't imagine what my married life would be...any words of wisdom or hope are helpful...I will pray for you and your significant others..thanks for the opportunity.

Dear Tigo,

I think you know the answer to your question, but since you asked, here's what I think.

You are both young.  But if he is taking 4 shots a day, his diabetes must be progressing at a pretty healthy rate.  Does he eat healthy?  Does he count carbs?  Does he keep to a regular schedule of eating and taking his shots?  Does he test before and after meals?  In other words, is he compliant?

When I was your age, I did not listen to my dad.  ha ha!  But I've since learned just how smart he was.  Your dad is correct in that there is a possibility your children could inherit diabetes.  My husband's father, grandfather and great grandfather all have/had diabetes.  But my husband's brother does not have it.  There is no way to tell who will and will not inherit it.  

No, you can't ignore diabetes.  You probably need to go with your gut instinct which I think is telling you to run.  You might want to get counseling and get as much education as you can on diabetes before you run or stay.  Education is always a good thing.  It has really helped me.  Counseling has been good.  You won't find a counselor who is a pro on diabetes (at least I haven't found one yet), but some of their suggestions are good and do work.  Some are rubbish, of course!  :o)  You have to decide what does and doesn't work for you, but that is the same with any issue you seek counseling on.

What you do need to be acutely aware of is the fact that your children could end up with diabetes.  And that you could have to carry insulin, needles, glucose tabs and more with you everywhere you go.  If your husband first acquired diabetes at age 19, I don't know if it is type 1 or 2.  If type 1, your children could get it at a much earlier age.  

The other issue is his progression.  If he is now at 4 shots per day, how long before he will go to the concentrated type insulin or to a pump?  And how long before neuropathy sets in.

Tough choices my dear.  Love IS blind, but I hope you will at least seek education and learn as much as you can before you move ahead either direction.  Most hospitals and health insurance plans offer free classes or you can google and find them locally.

Write back and keep us posted as to how you are doing.  Hugs,


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have another perspective --
Today I am in a different place than DW. While I totally respect her perspective (life is not kind to her now -- or is it her husband who is not kind????) my thoughts are different....

but I would prefer to post my thoughts on my own blog.

Please look there.

[thanks, DW, for sending writers over!]

Tom's Wife