Geri wrote this to me as a comment on "A letter from John" - but I decided it needs it's own blog:
Dear DW,
I'm glad I found your blog. I used to be a non-compliant diabetic. I have had type 1 Diabetes for 10 years and no matter how high my sugar would go, I would deny that I was doing damage to myself and shortening my life span.I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, did not test my sugar levels, did not go to the doctor regularly. I am sure my sugar was in the 300's on a daily basis.
I take 4 shots of insulin a day and I am overweight. A year and a half ago, my husband of 13 years got angry with me and refused to support my lifestyle any more. He was my enabler, just like a drug addict has an enabler. But he had had it. He did not want to see me leading myself to an early grave.
Thanks to him, and his 'hard' tactics I went to a good endocrinologist. My A1C was a 9.5 when I started seeing her. My last visit a month ago it was a 6.0. I test my sugar 3 times a day, I watch what I eat, but allow myself a day for carbs so that I don't go crazy. I have lost 45 pounds and I just feel so much better than the fatigued, lethargic mess that I was.
I found that the healthier diet and no junk food, has brought my own stomach issues , high blood pressure, cholesterol problems, under control.
Most of us diabetics are in some state of constant denial about our disease. I went to classes on how diabetics affects us, inside and out and it really opened my eyes. I wish you luck in your own struggle with living with a non-compliant diabetic. I hope he gets the help he needs to get his own diabetes under control. Trust me, he is the only one who can take control...when he wants it.
Geri
Dear Geri,
You are so brave and so wide to be doing what you are doing. I know from my own hubby that it is not easy to lose weight, eat healthy and do the things you need to do to be compliant....so huge kudos coming your way from all of us!!! Congratulations on getting your A1c down so far! That is amazing!!!
It is nice to hear from a diabetic that you think most diabetics are in some state of constant denial about the disease. I have been saying that for years now. I don't see how my hubby can eat and live the way he does without being in a near constant state of complete denial.....let alone "some" state. I'm the one who has had to learn that he has to take control.....I can't.
You didn't mention - is your hubby still with you? I do hope so. And I wish you continued success with your "awakening"!!!
DW
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2 comments:
Dear DW
Being a diabetic is frightening, whether it's Type 1 or Type 2. Diabetes runs on both sides of my family and I have watched it take the lives of a more than one family member.
I can't say why most Diabetics are in denial about the disease. After thinking about why I was leading such a non-compliant lifestyle, I would have to say that maybe I was hoping that it would just go away on its own. Silly, right? But who wants to admit that they have a disease that could do so much damage and end up killing us? It is so much easier to pretend that it's not happening. At least this is how it was for me. Having to take control means having to face facts. I am Diabetic, and have an auto-immune disease that could lead to glaucoma, heart disease, kidney failure and death. Even in my compliant state, I wish I could forget and deny that I have it.
The life of a diabetic is not fun. Sugar highs, and lows even with steady monitoring makes us feeling ill. Lows are worse than highs, they make me want to rip my skin off, the feeling is so hard to describe. Having to change a lifestyle to accomodate dietary changes, taking injections and pills, testing 3 times a day, having days of neuropathy, fatigue, and feeling blah is just the tip of what I can attest to feeling and going through.
My wonderful husband is still with me and always will be although as part of his 'tough love' he told me that I did not love him. I asked him to stop saying that and he told me that if I loved him, I'd get help for myself and get my situation under control.
Your blog makes me so sad, because I can imagine what your husband is feeling. I have had to adjust my whole lifestyle and often it's a real pain in the bottom to have done so.
The first step for me was to find an Endocrinologist that wasn't a 'quack'. So many of them have no clue how to deal with diabetes or give us the right answers. Finding the doctor that I have now really helped me get everything under control. I had doctors telling me to just keep doing what I was doing ...(What? Eating myself to a sugar laden death? ) and I had given up on finding someone who actually knew how to work with me.
Please feel free to keep in touch. I would be happy to offer experiences and advice for what has worked for me. Many hugs.
Geri
Geri,
Kudos to your husband, that he had the courage to say that to you! Sounds as if you are on the right track . . . kudos to you as well! As a spouse, I get that diabetes sucks. It is NOT a disease I would want
Take care,
Lilly
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