Monday, January 18, 2010

memory???

His doctor called this morning. The MRI shows a narrowing of the spinal column. Going to prescribe him percocet for the pain and has referred him to a neursurgeon. May require surgery, or an injection.

So I asked him if he had heard from the endocrinologist yet (thinking that adding another drug can't help his kidney function) and he said, yes, I talked to her on the way home Friday, don't you remember?

I'm thinking, no, I don't remember that at all. I said, "I thought that was your diabetic nurse?" He said, yes, that's her.

So I very calmly (thinkin he's having a morning low - getting a little testy?) said, "I know you talked to her, but have you heard from the endocrinologist?" He said, "I never said I heard from the endocrinologist."

OK, deciding to prepare for an all out argument, I just go for it....

"You said you had a referral to a cardiologist, and to an endocrinologist."

He said, "I never said that all. I have a referral to a cardiologist and my diabetic nurse called me."

So WHATEVER!!! I dropped it right there. Who knows what his doctor says? Proof he is going to continue to lie to me about all of it. That he is going to say one thing one day and change his story 3 days later so that he can continue to do exactly what he wants to do whenever he wants to do it.

I can't help him. Seriously!!! I realize that he is starting into a low this morning and the best thing that I can do is merely walk away. Stress doesn't help. He's supposed to have today and tomorrow off from work and his boss is back on the phone with him with their "special" "emergency" project.

Glad I have my art!

DW

2 comments:

Florence said...

Hi. I just found this blog today, and it is a lifeline. Forget the other wacko who accused you of being mean. She is in the lala land where DHs take care of themselves and do not lie through their teeth. Good for her.

I will be back soon with the all story.

Mary said...

Hi DW,

It is so frustrating to deal with this aspect of disease too. I don't know if it is denial or if my dh genuinely does not remember things. I have to wonder if other people with chronic illnesses behave in the same way. Is this a way of coping with their disease? To conveniently "forget" about important health advice.

It is as though my dh has selective memory. We are also dealing with sleepwalking recently. I am not sure if it is a side effect of the drugs he takes. During his last sleepwalking episode he lost his glasses. It has been 3 days and we haven't found them (thankfully we has a spare pair).

This past summer I went to his medical appointments with him and I took notes. Even with my notes in hand he still denied that the doctor said those things. I finally gave up on trying to help him manage his health care. No, I can't help him but I can change the way I think about things. He is a young man, 45, and has so many health issues.

I have been dealing with this for so many years that I think it is normal behavior for him. Some days I want out of this marriage so bad I can taste it.

Thanks for your blog and letting me vent.

Mary